Uranium Hijinks: NNSA’s Venezuelan Caper & Nuclear Follies

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My dear, what a perfectly absurd little escapade! The NNSA, with all the drama of a West End farce, has spirited away 13.5 kg of uranium from Venezuela’s rather passé research reactor, RV-1. One can only imagine the poor darlings in their hazmat suits, clutching their casks like overpriced theatre tickets.

All this, mind you, as uranium and nuclear energy sashay back into the spotlight, darling. NANO Nuclear Energy, that plucky little upstart, is apparently riding the wave, though one suspects it might take a tumble later this year. How très tragique.

NNSA’s Venezuelan Vaudeville

The NNSA, bless their hearts, declared this a “nonproliferation mission,” as if they were saving the world from a particularly nasty bout of indigestion. They cooperated with international partners, technical teams, and probably a few overworked baristas, to remove the uranium from the RV-1 reactor. A relic, darling, that hasn’t been useful since 1991, though its uranium remains dangerously chic-enriched above 20%.

In less time than it takes to rehearse a Coward revue, the team whisked 13.5 kilograms (or 30 pounds, if you’re still stuck in the colonies) of uranium into a spent fuel cask. A land journey of 100 miles followed, culminating in a maritime jaunt to the U.S. courtesy of Nuclear Transport Solutions. One can only hope they packed a decent picnic.

Off to the Savannah River Soiree

“Venezuela is revived and renewed,” trilled NNSA Administrator Brandon Williams, with all the gravitas of a leading man in a third-rate operetta. He boasted that the operation, which usually takes years, was accomplished in months. Bravo, darling, but let’s not throw a ticker-tape parade just yet.

Dr. Matt Napoli, Deputy Administrator for Defense Nuclear Nonproliferation, gushed with pride for his team and thanked the Venezuelans for their participation. One imagines he delivered this with a hand on his heart and a tear in his eye-or perhaps a martini in hand.

The uranium, now at the Savannah River Site, is under the stewardship of the DOE Office of Environmental Management. Technicians at the H-Canyon facility will process it, presumably while humming a jaunty tune. The material will aid America’s “nuclear renaissance,” they say. How delightfully retro.

Since 1996, the NNSA has removed or disposed of over 7,350 kg of highly enriched uranium and plutonium. One wonders if they’ve considered a loyalty program for repeat offenders.

NNE’s Nuclear Nonsense

In the current geopolitical circus, uranium is the new black, darling. Investing to Mars (whoever they are) claims nuclear energy is back on the menu, and NANO Nuclear Energy is eager to join the party with its portable and stationary small modular reactors. How quaint.

The price of NNE has surged to $26.70, though analysts predict a dip to $18 by Q4 2026. But fear not, darlings, for a grand bull phase is foretold, with prices soaring to $800 by mid-2028. One can only hope they’ve budgeted for champagne.

For now, NNE remains in a “broader recovery range,” whatever that means. Near-term dynamics are stable, provided they don’t trip over their own March lows. How very precarious, darling.

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2026-05-08 22:08