Ah, the markets-that great circus of speculation and despair-have once again been treated to the Federal Reserve’s latest sleight of hand. 🪄 With all the subtlety of a country house weekend gone awry, the Fed has trimmed its benchmark rate by a paltry 25 basis points, leaving it perched precariously between 3.75% and 4.0%. How thrilling. 🥱
What to know (if you must):
- The Fed, in a move as predictable as a society divorce, cut rates by 25 basis points. Yawn. 😴
- Bitcoin, that darling of the digital underworld, continues its descent into the abyss, shedding 3% in 24 hours. Crypto enthusiasts, weep into your lattes. ☕️💔
- All eyes are now on Chairman Jerome Powell, whose press conference promises to be as riveting as a sermon on the virtues of temperance. 🗣️🎭
As expected-for we live in an age of expectations, not surprises-the Fed has also decided to wind down its “quantitative tightening” charade on December 1. How quaint. 🎭 Meanwhile, the labor market, that great barometer of human misery, has slowed its relentless march, with unemployment creeping up like an unwelcome guest at a dinner party. 🍷👻
“Inflation remains somewhat elevated,” the Fed intoned, with all the gravitas of a vicar bemoaning the state of the parish roof. 🏰🔥 Kansas City’s Jeffrey Schmid, ever the contrarian, voted to hold steady, while Stephen Miran, in a fit of optimism, pushed for a 50 basis point cut. Bless their hearts. ❤️🤡
Bitcoin, poor soul, languishes at $111,700, down 3%-a digital Icarus who flew too close to the sun. 🪂🔥 Stocks, meanwhile, cling to modest gains, with the Nasdaq leading the charge like a debutante at her first ball. 💃🎉 The 10-year Treasury yield rose to 4.02%, and the dollar flexed its muscles, ever the bully of the currency playground. 💪💵
Now, all await Powell’s press conference at 2:30 p.m. ET, where he will no doubt dispense wisdom as vague as a foggy English morning. 🌫️🕰️ Traders, those eternal optimists, are already betting on another 25 basis point cut in December. How delightful. 🎄🎲
Read More
- Super Animal Royale: All Mole Transportation Network Locations Guide
- Brent Oil Forecast
- Katanire’s Yae Miko Cosplay: Genshin Impact Masterpiece
- The best Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 Easter egg solves a decade old mystery
- Zerowake GATES : BL RPG Tier List (November 2025)
- Avengers: Doomsday Trailer Leak Has Made Its Way Online
- Shiba Inu’s Rollercoaster: Will It Rise or Waddle to the Bottom?
- Pluribus theory claims Carol has already found the cure but Episode 7 ending ruins it
- Daisy Ridley to Lead Pierre Morel’s Action-Thriller ‘The Good Samaritan’
- Wuthering Waves version 3.0 update ‘We Who See the Stars’ launches December 25
2025-10-29 21:49