Old Kimono Maker Yup, Goes Crypto!

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News of the most exhilarating kind, my dear readers! 🥳 A venerable Japanese kimono and textiles manufacturer is astonishing its shareholders, just like when Bertie Wooster discovers that Aunt Dahlia has finally adopted a taste for vegetarianism. At a forthcoming assembly on the eleventh of November, the company is poised to present itself quite candidly as “Bitcoin Japan” – branding itself in such a way that even Ponsonby would blush.

Yes, indeed! “Bitcoin Japan Corporation” will grace its English language endeavors whilst its focus tightens like Aunt Agatha’s corsets on crypto treasury operations. The good news was rolled out with the pomp and glory of a society wedding announcement earlier this week.

A Rebrand Fit For Tennis Racket Bars

Now, a coagulation of steelier-than-stevens circumstances has brought this about. Bakkt, the company known for not being named Selling Mother-in-Law Stew, was entangled in a June agreement to acquire a prominent stake in the Japanese textile maestro, sparking quite the buzz around Tokyo town. And what’s scandalous fun without a thrilling change of command? Well, Phillip Lord, Bakkt International’s president, is due to take the helm as CEO, while Akshay Naheta, Bakkt Holdings’ co-also-pretends-to-be-everything, is to become the newest chairman of the board. A rather invigorating jigsaw change in leadership that aims to make not just the shareholders but even Aunt Agatha clench her fist in a rare show of approval.

Bakkt Holdings has wrapped up acquiring the domain, reinforcing our allure in Nippon with an internet name that’s as captivating as Madeline Bassett’s poetry recitals!

– Bakkt (@Bakkt) September 22, 2025

The Roots of a Fabulous Fuss

As someone remarked once – remember it was said at the club – Marusho Hotta, while no fledgling affair, boasts of a pedigree that’s virtually as storied as Sir Roderick Spode’s attempts at inventing new sports. Founded in the halcyon days of 1861, they opened one of Tokyo’s inaugural kimono wholesale stores in 1894, hitting the Tokyo Exchange in 1974 faster than a toff through a bad needle exchange. However, recent years have seen the venerable outfit losing pounds quicker than a cucumber aversion weighing in when cucumber sandwiches are afoot. With a net income akin to a sugarless jellybean at minus 407 million yen recently, would you believe it?

Oh, and the sector has shiveringly highlighted its less-than-stellar performance. Kitabo, another illustrious textile contender, reported a net loss roughly tantamount to buying a garden gnome for each of Jeeves’ suits. As they cozy up to embrace Bitcoins and other real-world luxuries, perhaps a company-wide bout of ‘new beginnings’?

Company Stats

Fashion House Vertigo – The Bitcoin Hop

Now, a slew of Japanese labels, as fashionable as Norma Wooster in Luton coat, are decidedly heading into Bitcoin town. Metaplanet, akin to the swankiest new dance club, has accrued enough Bitcoin to be part of the global top five corporate Bitcoin treasuries. Remixpoint, game designer Gumi, and retailer ANAP are not far below, collapsing into the crypto moshpit!

This transformation isn’t merely a case of putting lipstick on a bulldog. When a firm with nineteenth-century roots opts for a digital currency moniker, one might wonder if it is a bold proclamation of rejuvenation or simply a modish goggles’ tip to changing with the times. The bell will toll on November 11 with how this strategic leap impresses both the Bystander and, perhaps more pertinently, the old-school shareholders. Whether other business behemoths join the dance, pockets loaded with Bitcoin… only balancing sheets will inform.

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2025-09-30 10:15