Bitcoin Hits Rock Bottom? Larry David Says, “So What?”

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So, Bitcoin’s stuck in this boring little range, hovering around $66,500 like it’s waiting for a table at a trendy brunch spot. Price action? Subdued. Exciting? Not even close. But hey, some on-chain data is trying to tell us this is the “market bottom.” Sure, Jan.

Supply In Profit? More Like Supply In “Who Cares?”

Over on CryptoQuant, this guy EgyHash is all like, “Oh, Bitcoin’s forming a major cycle bottom!” Because, you know, the Supply in Profit Market Bands metric said so. Big deal. Look at the chart-blue area, green line, blah blah blah.

Apparently, Supply in Profit is down to 11.3 million BTC. Whoop-dee-doo. It crossed some lines-Psychological Inflection, Liquidity Accumulation. Sounds like a bad dating profile. And now it’s in the “Bottom Discovery” zone. Great. Where’s the discovery of a good bagel when you need it?

EgyHash says this is where short-term holders throw in the towel. Big whoop. Historically, this green band shows up during major bottoms. 2018, 2020, 2022-yeah, we get it. Crypto winter, liquidity crisis, FTX. Can we move on? Oh, and the speed of this transition? Astounding. Sure, because nothing says “astounding” like a market flush.

“Seller Exhaustion,” huh? Sounds like me after a trip to the grocery store. “Mania” phase is over? Good riddance. Nobody likes a maniac, especially in crypto.

Long-Term Holders: The Real Heroes… Or Are They?

So now the long-term holders are in charge. Diamond hands, blah blah. Absorbing supply like it’s a free buffet. But let’s be real-does this guarantee a V-shaped recovery? Nope. Just less bearish risk. Woo-hoo. Sit tight, folks. Don’t make any sudden moves. Unless it’s to grab a snack.

As of now, Bitcoin’s at $66,901. Thrilling. No change in 24 hours. Just like my social life.

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2026-04-04 20:11