Trump’s Bitcoin Heist: Scaramucci’s Secret Sauce & Celeb Cash! 🐘💼

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Oh, gather ’round, dear readers, for a tale of treasure and treachery! In a move as smooth as a chocolate waterfall (but with more crypto), Anthony Scaramucci has slipped into the shadows of a Bitcoin mining empire tied to a certain orange-obsessed former president. 🕵️♂️💰 The heist? A $220 million fundraising round in July, just before the company sprouted legs and went public in September via a reverse merger. The mastermind? Solari Capital, run by AJ Scaramucci, who’s now throwing more than $100 million at American Bitcoin like it’s confetti at a clown college. 🎉

AJ, ever the mystery man, refused to spill the exact beans on how much he’s investing, leaving us all to wonder if it’s enough to buy a small island-or just a fancy yacht. The rest of the investor list? A cryptic riddle wrapped in a Bitcoin block. 🤷♂️

A Posse of Peculiar Pockets

But fear not! AJ isn’t playing solo. Oh no, he’s rounded up a band of merry investors, including:

• Tony Robbins (motivational guru extraordinaire) 🎤
• Charles Hoskinson (Cardano’s king of chains) 🔗
• Grant Cardone (salesman with a silver tongue) 💬
• Peter Diamandis (rocket man with a Bitcoin grin) 🚀

And of course, Anthony himself dipped his toes into the pool, though how deep? Well, even he’s playing coy. 🤫

Politics? Pah! It’s All About the Glimmer

Anthony, you see, once served in the Trump administration like a nervous acrobat on a tightrope-briefly, brilliantly, and then poof, gone! 🎩 But since then, he’s been Trump’s harshest critic, louder than a teapot in a thunderstorm. Yet here he is, investing in a Trump-linked firm. Why? Because Bitcoin mining is the new gold rush, and Anthony’s not one to miss a glittering opportunity. No politics here, just pure, unadulterated greed. 💰

With their newfound riches and a public listing, American Bitcoin plans to expand its U.S. mining empire. And who better to back them? A coven of tech wizards, crypto gurus, and venture capitalists-because nothing says “trust us” like a group of people who’ve never held a real job. 🤝

The Market’s Great Big Wobbly Stomach

Now, let’s talk about Bitcoin’s latest antics. It’s been dancing with the devil, dropping to six-month lows like a deflated balloon. 🎈📉 But fear not! Traders are swarming the price zone like bees to honey, and big players are rearranging their portfolios like a game of chess with higher stakes. Is it a bear market? A bear in a Bitcoin suit? No one knows! 🐻

The CME Bitcoin futures chart, that cryptic oracle, recently closed below its 50-week moving average-a sign that could mean anything from “doomsday” to “tea time.” Analysts are squinting at their screens, whispering incantations, and still… nothing. It’s a riddle wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. 🧩

Bitcoin CME futures weekly close under the MA50.

– Crypto Rover (@cryptorover)

And then there’s the SOPR ratio, that long-term holder’s best friend, now perched on a historic support level like a penguin on an iceberg. If selling pressure eases, it’ll be the market’s way of saying, “Phew, that was close!” But if it plummets? Well, that’s just the universe’s way of saying, “Oopsie.” 😬

Long-term holders’ SOPR is now sitting on a key support level.

Selling pressure needs to ease from here.

– Crypto Rover (@cryptorover)

So, what’s next? Will Bitcoin bounce back like a rubber chicken, or crash like a soufflé in a hurricane? The answer lies in whether sellers take a coffee break or start a riot. 🤞

Word of caution, dear reader: This tale is for entertainment only. Do not trust it more than you’d trust a fox in a henhouse. Always consult a financial wizard-or at least a spreadsheet. 📊

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2025-11-16 11:36