Uniswap Surges 4.5% As Every Single CoinDesk 20 Asset Rises (Even The ‘Laggards’)

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CoinDesk Indices

CoinDesk Indices, that indefatigable stenographer of digital asset foibles, delivers its daily market almanac, cataloguing the overeager strivers and the listless dawdlers populating the CoinDesk 20’s ranks.

At present, the CoinDesk 20-our composite yardstick for twenty crypto prima donnas with inflated egos and erratic moods-rests at 1687.72, having risen a tidy 1.6% (a full 26.8 points, for the sticklers who demand numerical precision over vague hand-waving) since 4 p.m. ET Wednesday, when most traders were still arguing about whether to buy a third artisanal cold brew before the close.

Mark this day in your little crypto calendars, gentle reader: every single one of the index’s twenty constituents is currently trading in the black. No red candles mar the landscape, not even a faint pink blush of loss-like stumbling on a rare, unbruised peach in a crate of overripe, mealy fruit.

Today’s front-runners, those eager beavers who showed up to the market party first and drank all the good champagne: Uniswap’s UNI, up a spritely 4.5% as if it just remembered it left a winning lottery ticket in its other wallet, and Solana’s SOL, up a chipper 2.6% for reasons no self-respecting crypto analyst will deign to explain in plain English, preferring instead to drown the public in a slurry of technical jargon and charts that look like abstract expressionist paintings.

The so-called “laggards,” a title they wear with the quiet resignation of a student who got a B+ when they studied for an A: CRO and NEAR, both scraping together a paltry 0.3% gain, as if they’re embarrassed to be outperforming expectations.

For the three readers who have no idea what the CoinDesk 20 even is: it’s a broad-based index traded across more platforms than Vladimir Nabokov had rejected manuscript drafts, tracked by bored institutional investors and crypto maximalists alike in every corner of the globe where the internet connection doesn’t cut out mid-pump, ruining someone’s carefully placed leverage bet.

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2026-06-11 17:05