Kim Jong-un’s Crypto Heist: 51% More Fun in 2025!

According to the wise boffins at CrowdStrike, the plucky chaps in North Korea managed to nick a cool $2.02 billion in crypto last year. That’s a 51% uptick in their five-finger discounts compared to 2024. Jolly good show, if a bit naughty.

Apparently, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (or DPRK, as the cool kids call it) has been busier than a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest, funneling their ill-gotten gains into military programs. Who needs a bake sale when you’ve got AI-powered cyber heists?

North Korean Hackers: Now with Extra AI Sprinkles!

The report reveals that these crafty codgers have been using artificial intelligence like it’s going out of fashion. FAMOUS CHOLLIMA, those scoundrels, doubled their mischief by donning AI-generated disguises to infiltrate crypto exchanges, fintech firms, and even retail banks. Because nothing says “subtle” like a digital mask.

Meanwhile, STARDUST CHOLLIMA has been busy concocting fake recruiter profiles and virtual meeting rooms to charm fintech firms across the globe. It’s like a bad dating app, but with more money and less romance.

“Financial services are under attack from every angle, and AI is making it cheaper than a sausage in a bun to pull off these capers,” said Adam Meyers, CrowdStrike’s resident adversary whisperer. “Convincing identities, automated snooping, and lightning-fast credential theft? It’s a villain’s dream come true.”

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Ransomware and Espionage: The Double Whammy

CrowdStrike also noted that 423 financial firms ended up on leak sites last year, a 27% jump. Hands-on-keyboard shenanigans rose 43% globally, with North America leading the charge at 48%. It’s like everyone’s invited to the cybercrime party, and the punch is spiked with malware.

And the fun hasn’t stopped in 2026. North America alone accounted for over half of the sector’s intrusions in Q1. By then, financial services had become the fourth-most-targeted sector, nabbing 12% of all recorded mischief.

TRM Labs chimed in, linking DPRK groups to $577 million in stolen funds from Drift Protocol and KelpDAO through April. North Korea, however, has denied these claims via their state news agency KCNA. Shocking, I know.

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2026-05-15 06:51