Summer House Recap: Soft Launch

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I often joke that everything’s better on a boat, but that doesn’t always hold true on Bravo – we’ve seen some pretty disastrous boat trips! However, on Summer House, the boat ride itself was actually great. The real drama happened before they set sail, and it’s what everyone’s talking about. As they left for the boat, Kyle wondered if West and Ciara were discussing getting back together. Mia suggested they focus on being friends first, but the reactions from everyone – including West and Ciara – made it seem like they’d skipped straight to a serious relationship, complete with engagement and even starting a family! It’s a bit much, but maybe a few sponsored posts could make it believable. Jesse even joked about them holding hands and celebrating when they arrived, and that’s exactly what happened – it felt like a triumphant moment, like a politician and their spouse celebrating a big win.

Ciara told Mia on the boat that she feels he’s “her person.” Honestly, that feels like a really bad idea in hindsight. And I really dislike this whole “my person” trend – I’m genuinely curious when it started and how it became so popular, though I suspect it began with The Bachelor. On the boat, Ciara and him weren’t overly affectionate, but back on land, he went to her room and gave her a hug that lasted way longer than I’ve been intimate with anyone lately. It should have been a sweet moment, considering how things were just six weeks ago, but now it just makes me uncomfortable.

Ciara is in bed with Ben, video chatting with Sabrina, who can’t seem to stop calling Ben and inserting herself into their evening. Honestly, Sabrina is a lot to handle – even on video, her outfit is a disaster. She casually drops that West has a crush on Ciara, something Ben told her privately, because that’s just what she does. She’s completely draining – more tiring than running a marathon after a long Phish concert.

Kyle admitted to the guys on the boat that he was enjoying being himself and having fun without his wife there, but acknowledged it was a bit sad. Meanwhile, Jesse Solomon shared gossip with Ciara and Mia, claiming Kyle and Amanda haven’t been intimate in years. When asked how he knew, Jesse playfully responded that it was just a rumor he’d heard, attributing the information to “Carla.” They all laughed, knowing Carla’s information was usually reliable. Ciara observed that Jesse readily volunteered this gossip, proving his skill at playing the reality TV game. She added that a two-year gap in intimacy, combined with a lack of public affection, suggested the relationship was already failing before the summer even began.

Back in town, Amanda and Ciara went for a walk where Amanda filled Ciara in on the drama with West and then shared the details of her difficult relationship, as she’d discussed with their therapist. Essentially, Amanda explained that her husband was unfaithful, they got married anyway, rumors continued, and now they can’t stand being around each other. It makes you wonder why she stayed with him, especially considering she was already bothered by his behavior even before the wedding! Amanda is still upset about things that happened before their wedding, while he’s angry about things that happened after, meaning they disagree on everything and are completely stuck.

The rest of the episode focuses on Carl’s low-key opening of Soft Bar, a non-alcoholic venue created mainly to annoy Lindsay Hubbard. It also serves as an introduction to In the City, a new spin-off show starring Kyle, Amanda, and Lindsay, along with Georgina (a friend of Lindsay’s), Andrea and Lexi (who came to support Carl), and Danielle and her boyfriend, Eoin (which is the Irish spelling of Owen). Danielle and Lindsay aren’t currently speaking because Lindsay is upset about things Danielle said in interviews last season. Luke, who we haven’t seen in a while, was also at the party, likely to raise money for his political campaign.

It was nice of Lindsay to come to the party, but it really showed how different she and Carl are now that they’ve broken up. Carl was considerate and brought a thoughtful housewarming gift for Lindsay and her daughter. Lindsay, on the other hand, brought a teddy bear, which felt like a passive-aggressive joke referencing Carl’s desire for more affection. She also continued to mock the idea of a non-alcoholic bar. But the worst part was how she treated Carl’s mother, Sharon. Lindsay described a text Sharon sent after the breakup – a simple message saying she still cared and hoped Lindsay was okay – as “weird.” Actually, it sounds pretty kind! Maybe I’m just biased, though – my own mother-in-law still goes on vacation with my husband’s ex, so my judgment might be off.

Sharon approached Lindsay to say hello, which I thought was a really kind gesture. She asked how Lindsay and her daughter were doing, making polite conversation, but Lindsay responded with short, hesitant answers. When Sharon asked about Gemma, Lindsay surprisingly said, “She’s a little bit mean, just like me, isn’t she?” I understood why it was uncomfortable – it’s not great to hear your ex’s mother imply you’re unkind on TV. Thankfully, the moment passed quickly. This is Carl’s event, and Sharon is his mother. I really care about Lindsay, and I understand things are strange between them, but couldn’t she at least be pleasant to a nice older woman?

Sabrina was even more over-the-top, sporting a self-made choker and an outfit that resembled a disastrous Drag Race challenge – imagine a gown made entirely of used coffee filters! Her look was giving major, attention-grabbing vibes. She and Ben were talking to KJ, and she immediately pushed Ben to tell him about Christmas. It turned out Ben had invited Sabrina to Australia to meet his family during the holidays. Then she prompted him to reveal what he’d told his mother: that his next girlfriend would be someone special. It was completely inappropriate – like announcing an engagement at the wrong event. And Sabrina was incredibly thirsty; she seemed to drain all the moisture from the area, even killing the plants in a nearby apartment. After she arrived at Soft Bar, there wasn’t a single drop of anything left to drink.

Sabrina is moving way too fast! She’s already talking about the future with West and Ciara, even planning a “double date” despite them only recently becoming friends again. West feels like she’s planning their wedding after just three days of being reconnected. Amanda is also concerned, thinking Ciara isn’t ready for a romantic relationship with West, and wonders if she might have feelings for him herself.

Ugh, Sabrina is already texting Jesse about this whole thing, and it’s just… too much! Seriously, who even is this girl? And she doesn’t even go to this school! She’s inserting herself into everything, and honestly, she’s getting way more attention than Levi is. (Okay, and that super cute guy with the mustache behind Kyle at the bar? He had more screen time than Levi too, just saying. If you’re reading this, I’m @BrianJMoylan on Instagram and my DMs are open – my husband is cool with it as long as he can watch!) But the thing that really gets me is how the episode starts and ends with this dramatic irony. We, the viewers, know exactly what’s going to happen, but the characters are all blissfully unaware. West is hopeful about his friendship with Ciara, Amanda’s worried about how West will treat her, and Ciara’s just thrilled to have her “person” back. It’s just… painful to watch, knowing it’s all going to fall apart. It feels like a disaster waiting to happen, like a huge storm, or even something awful like a pandemic, or getting completely overwhelmed – like a sinking ship taking everything down with it.

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2026-04-29 05:56