Vanderpump Rules Recap: There’s the Rub

by

I’ve seen a lot of dangerous people on this show, the kind who seem harmless at first but quickly reveal a darker side. It reminds me of nature – beautiful waterfalls that hide treacherous rapids, or a cute little frog that’s actually deadly poisonous. Angelica Jensen is exactly like that. She comes across as sweet, bubbly, and totally innocent, and you’re drawn in… until you realize you’re in way over your head and fighting for your life. We’ve dealt with Jax, Tom, James, and even Racquel and Stassi (and we had to eat our words about Stassi later!), but honestly, I don’t think anyone has ever been as unsettling as Angelica. She just… feels different.

The drama starts to ease up when the group visits the first of two wineries. Everyone is talking about resolving their issues, and it seems like progress is being made – Venus and Marcus are friends again, and Kim is overjoyed to have reconciled with Natalie, even bursting into tears. Jason attempts a similar reconciliation with Angelica, but she reveals in a private interview that she’s still deeply uncomfortable with him and his twin brother, knowing their shared history. This brief moment of positivity is quickly overshadowed when Angelica, during a group photo, condescendingly calls Jason “little man” – a classic example of her passive-aggressive behavior. She often makes seemingly playful comments that are actually intended to be hurtful, masking her meanness as a joke. She repeats this pattern later, joking that her broken hair straightener is “limp like Shayne’s,” another attempt to shame someone with a disguised insult.

At the second winery, Angelica deliberately tries to provoke Jason by passionately kissing Shayne right in front of him. Shayne, who has openly discussed experiencing erectile dysfunction since being shot, admits he became aroused. Angelica then claims she wants to support him through his struggles with it, but just hours later, she’s openly mocking him. This highlights a core issue with Angelica: she seems incapable of genuine emotion. While she does express feelings, her explanations are inconsistent and ever-changing. She weaponizes her emotions to win arguments, get what she wants, and manipulate people. She always has an excuse ready, positioning herself as the victim, and will readily change her stance on something if it benefits her in the moment.

The tension surfaces when Jason admits he’s upset with her, stemming from a comment she made. She claims it was meant affectionately, but her tone suggests dismissiveness – as if she can’t be bothered with him. She then brings up a brief incident where she felt Jason misrepresented himself early in their relationship. It’s clear Jason behaved poorly towards her, openly flirting with another woman and then unfairly blaming her for not stopping it. He also made plans with her and then didn’t show up. While she has multiple valid reasons to be angry, she only focuses on his OnlyFans content, which she sees as a clear moral failing on his part.

Jason points out that she previously mocked his profession, but she insists she never judges him – a claim everyone disputes, as they’ve all heard her do exactly that. Specifically, she’s trying to deny making critical comments about a product he promotes and a past on-camera experience they shared, but the group isn’t letting her rewrite history. Demy immediately calls her out on the inconsistency, and it’s admirable that Jason and Chris are always open and honest about all aspects of their work, taking full responsibility for their choices.

Angelica’s argument falls apart quickly when she confesses she only read the video’s description, not the video itself, because the content disturbed her. Just like reading a summary of a book doesn’t make you an expert, or reading about a weight loss drug doesn’t guarantee results – even after indulging in a large brunch – it doesn’t give her a full understanding of the situation.

Unlike Angelica, I’ve seen the video, and honestly, it’s not as bad as I expected, except the price—$69 is steep! Chris is right, the description is definitely exaggerated and misleading. The video features Chris, Jason, their muscular blonde roommate (let’s call him Thor), and a massage therapist I’ve seen before, who’s quite skilled. The main focus is Chris, Jason, and Thor taking turns getting naked massages. The therapist does most of the work, applying oil and really working on their backs and glutes. The other two guys, who wear underwear when they’re not being massaged, provide very light and superficial touches to shoulders or calves, looking as disinterested as a teenager half-heartedly scooping ice cream while daydreaming. When Jason and Chris massage each other, they barely go past the shoulder blades.

The video is pretty tame – definitely suitable for a PG-13 rating. There’s no explicit sexual content at all. After getting massages, Chris showers alone in a way that’s reminiscent of a classic, slightly suggestive soap opera. Then, Jason and Thor shower together, playfully washing each other’s backs, but with very little actual intimacy – it’s less exciting than a typical shampoo commercial. Would I do this with my own cousin? Probably not. I may have accidentally seen my cousin naked before, but it wasn’t a big deal. I wouldn’t apply sunscreen to my cousin’s shoulders, simply because my cousins aren’t attractive. However, if I had an attractive cousin, I might, and the experience would be about as sensual as the interaction between Jason and Chris – which isn’t very sensual at all, more like doing household chores.

The conversation shifts dramatically to focus on Angelica, and she quickly finds herself without any support. Jason and Chris are shocked by her claims, believing she was aware all along that he had an OnlyFans account. Meanwhile, Marcus is unusually perceptive, pointing out to Angelica that she knew about Jason’s side hustle from the beginning and is now trying to make him look bad. He accurately observes that she’s upset about a specific moment that didn’t go her way and is using this information to embarrass him. It’s clear she’s trying to backtrack now that she’s been called out. Later, Marcus tells Shayne he doesn’t see a future with Angelica. This episode marks a surprisingly accurate run for Marcus, who proves himself right three times – likely a personal best for the entire season, and maybe even ever.

Okay, things really escalate when Angelica, clearly upset, goes searching for Shayne, only to find him completely absorbed in a Simpsons video game – seriously, he’s wailing on Krusty the Klown with Marge’s vacuum! She tries to talk to him, but it’s like talking to a wall. Back with the girls, Audrey, who’s dating Chris, steps up to confront Angelica, and she’s adamant that she’s the only one with a legitimate reason to be upset, and frankly, doesn’t see what the big deal is. The others seem to agree. Then Demy throws Angelica under the bus, pointing out she’s all talk in private, which, honestly, feels like the core of the problem. It all comes rushing back – remember when Shayne warned Angelica about bringing up the video, saying it would make enemies? He was right, and she didn’t listen. It’s a little jarring, I have to admit, to see the guys on this show actually be right for once!

I thought Angelica’s emotional moment on the bus was the most difficult part of the episode, but then Shayne had a serious conversation with her at the villa. He told her that, after seeing how things have unfolded, he doesn’t think they should continue their romantic relationship. While it’s tough timing, it feels like the right decision. I really appreciate that Shayne is firm when he sets limits – he’s a man of his word!

It’s incredible – as soon as he establishes any boundaries, Angelica immediately tries to cross them. She pulls him onto the bed for cuddles, puts on a high-pitched, baby-like voice, and even tries to kiss him despite him clearly stating he doesn’t want to kiss anymore. He feels she gets overly attached too fast, comparing it to needing a life vest when she should learn to swim. With all of this, plus Marcus being correct about something and Jason supporting his grandmother’s relationship, I’m starting to feel uneasy about rooting for any of the male contestants on this show!

Angelica is determined to get Demy’s attention, even after being told not to. The SUR manager, known for her ponytail, strongly advises Angelica against going into his room, but Angelica ignores the warning. Her biggest problem seems to be difficulty handling rejection; she constantly needs validation from men. She’s still hung up on an ex she’s lived with for only a year. It’s hard to say whether her behavior is worse than some of the guys’ – her desperation is pretty extreme, and asking a man about oysters as an aphrodisiac is also a bit much. Regardless, she disregards Demy’s advice, texting Shayne to see if he’s awake and then even trying to open his door when he doesn’t respond, only to find it locked. She then texts him about trying the door.

I honestly don’t understand what Angelica is doing. Is she seeking validation from a group that’s now distant because she wasn’t interested in a relationship with them? Is she genuinely trying to connect with this guy, or is she just trying to convince herself she’s still desirable even after being rejected? Whatever her motive, I was completely stunned when, on the drive home with Shayne driving, she casually put her pinky finger under his seatbelt as a flirtatious gesture, as if everything was normal. Shayne kept his eyes on the road, clearly trying to ignore it and hoping it would stop. Then, out of nowhere, Tom Sandoval suddenly popped up from the back of the car, startling everyone. He cheerfully asked, “Hey guys! Are you going to World Dog Day?”

Read More

2026-02-04 06:56