Tether Buys More Gold Than Your Grandma’s Jewelry Box!

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Well, strap on your space helmets and prepare for liftoff, because Tether has just gone full-on Gollum with its gold obsession. The stablecoin giant has apparently decided that $4.8 billion worth of gold is exactly what it needs to feel secure in this chaotic universe. That’s right, 27 metric tons of the shiny stuff-enough to make even King Midas blush.

According to Reuters, Tether’s gold-buying spree in the fourth quarter of 2025 was just slightly more extravagant than its third-quarter haul of 26 tons. Because, you know, why stop at 26 when you can go for 27? It’s like ordering a pizza with 7 toppings and then realizing you could’ve had 8. Poland’s central bank, the leading global gold hoarder, only managed 35 tons in the same period. Tether’s CEO Paolo Ardoino quipped, “We are operating at a scale that now places the Tether Gold Investment Fund alongside sovereign gold holders, and that carries real responsibility.” Yes, Paolo, the responsibility of explaining why you’re stockpiling gold like it’s the end of the world.

Stablecoins, for those not in the know, are supposed to maintain a stable value by being backed 1:1 by real-world assets like the US dollar. But Tether’s stablecoin, Tether Gold (XAUT), is backed entirely by gold. Its market cap is now sitting pretty at $2.7 billion, up 30% in the past three months as gold prices soar. Meanwhile, their other stablecoin, USDT, is mostly backed by U.S. Treasuries, with gold making up a modest 7% of its reserves as of September. Because, you know, diversity is key-unless you’re Tether, in which case it’s all about that gold.

In a recent chat with Bloomberg, Ardoino revealed that Tether now holds about 140 tons of gold, valued at a cool $23 billion. Gold, by the way, is currently trading at $5,184 per ounce, up 19% since January 1st. So, if you’re feeling left out of this gold rush, just remember: Tether’s got you covered. Or, more accurately, they’ve got themselves covered. In gold. Lots and lots of gold.

So, what’s next for Tether? Will they start buying up entire mountains to mine for more gold? Or perhaps they’ll just launch their own gold-backed cryptocurrency called “Goldercoin”? Only time will tell. In the meantime, let’s all sit back, relax, and watch as Tether single-handedly turns the financial world into a real-life game of Monopoly. Pass the gold-plated dice, anyone?

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2026-01-28 13:36