The land was restless, the air thick with the scent of gunpowder and greed. On the first weekend of the new year, the United States, with a swagger that only a superpower could muster, swooped down on Venezuela like a hawk on a field mouse. The capital, Caracas, trembled under the weight of bombs, and Nicolás Maduro, along with his wife, was plucked from power like a ripe fruit from a tree. The reason? Drugs, they said. Drugs and the whispered promise of oil-300 billion barrels, glistening like liquid gold, worth more than $17 trillion.
Donald Trump, the man with the golden comb-over and the silver tongue, stood before the nation, his words dripping with triumph. “We’ll run their oil,” he declared, his voice a mix of bravado and bluster. “Congress? Nah, they’d blab.” And blab they did-not about the operation, but about Trump himself. Chuck Schumer, the Senate’s dour watchdog, called the attacks “reckless,” his voice trembling with indignation. “This should strike fear in the hearts of all Americans,” he warned, though whether it was fear of Trump’s actions or his hairpiece, no one could say.
The Democrats howled, the prediction markets whirred, and the impeachment odds on Kalshi and Polymarket shot up like a rocket. But then, like a deflating balloon at a child’s party, they sagged. By December 31, 2026, the chances of Trump being impeached had dropped by 3%. The markets, it seemed, were as fickle as a summer breeze.
Meanwhile, in the wild west of cryptocurrency, the digital frontier was ablaze. Bitcoin, that elusive beast, surged past $91,000, while WLFI and TRUMP, the coins tied to the man himself, skyrocketed. WLFI jumped 16%, nearly hitting $0.18, and TRUMP, like a phoenix from the ashes, soared back into the top 100 alts at $5.40. It was as if the markets were saying, “Sure, he’s a loose cannon, but boy, does he know how to make a buck.” 🤑
And so, the world spun on, a chaotic dance of power, money, and madness. The oil flowed, the crypto boomed, and the impeachment odds? Well, they just sat there, sipping a beer and watching the show. 🌶️
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2026-01-04 10:40