Ah, the absurdity of numbers! Binance, that grand bazaar of digital dreams, has conjured a staggering $2.91 trillion in futures trading volume and a mere $744.83 billion in spot trading during the sultry month of August 2025. 🌡️ What folly! What madness! Yet, the world spins, and the crypto clowns march on, their pockets jingling with imaginary gold. 🪙
In the shadow of this spectacle, the “CEX Data Report” emerges, a scroll of wisdom shared by the venerable crypto scribe, Colin Wu, on September 16. Behold! Bitfinex and MEXC, those upstart jesters, have leaped forward with 39% and 47% growth, respectively. 🎭 Yet, Binance remains the ringmaster, its whip cracking with authority. Meanwhile, the masses flock to KuCoin, their curiosity piqued like peasants at a traveling carnival. 🎡
Spot trading (left) and futures trading (right) volume of major CEXs | Source: Wu Blockchain 🧙♂️
But lo! The Fed, that dour guardian of financial sobriety, slashes rates for the first time since December 2024. 🏦 And Tether, ever the mischievous imp, mints 2 billion USDT in a single stroke. Nasdaq, too, joins the fray, tokenizing the very air we breathe. 🌪️ Yet, the masses remain skeptical, their wallets clutched tightly. A Bank of America survey reveals that 84% of investment funds shun crypto like a plague. 🦠 How quaint!
MOST INVESTORS HAVE ZERO ALLOCATION TO CRYPTO: BANK OF AMERICA
Bank of America’s September survey shows 67% of fund managers hold no crypto. Only small fractions allocate 2% (3%), 4% (3%), or 8%+ (1%). The average allocation is just 0.4%. Overall, 84% haven’t started structural…
– *Walter Bloomberg (@DeItaone) September 16, 2025 📰
And yet, the Crypto Market Cap Index (TOTAL) dares to turn green, reaching $3.99 trillion. The RSI, that fickle oracle, whispers of bullish winds at 60.25 points. 🌬️ Will the crypto caravan march onward, or will it collapse under its own absurdity? Only time, that great jester, will tell. ⏳
Crypto Market Cap Index (TOTAL) 1D chart | Source: TradingView 📈
In this grand theater of the absurd, experts predict a bull rally before 2025’s curtain falls. 🦬 But beware, dear reader, for in the land of crypto, folly and fortune are but two sides of the same coin. 🪙 May your investments be wise, and your laughter hearty! 😂
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2025-09-17 02:53