🤣 Why Schwartz Won’t Use Edge – No, Really, It’s Serious!

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David Schwartz, chief technology officer at Ripple, recently fired up the old water-cooler routine and took a hilarious jab at the Microsoft Edge browser. 🌊 It’s like watching two ducks in a tragicomedy contest!

Oh, the drama of Microsoft Edge! It’s like the grandchild of the notorious Internet Explorer (aka “The White Elephant that walks and occasionally stumbles”). People have been meme-ing about it since the days when IE was “feature-rich,” which basically meant it was a fire hazard waiting to happen with all its bugs!

The Epic Saga of the Sluggish IE 

Back in the day, IE was the rockstar of snail-paced browsing. They’re the ones who made Firefox and Chrome look like Felix the Cat on a caffeine spree. Allegedly, back in the golden age of IE 5 and 6, their only redeeming quality was getting people to download Chrome faster than a squirrel to a nut shop.

Cherished by all for crashing more than a bad rendition of karaoke, IE 6 went down in history like an opera singer who couldn’t reach the high notes. IE 7 tried to make amends by introducing tabs (finally!), but it was too little, too late – the web world had already gone and fallen for Firefox and Chrome.

Microsoft decided it was time for a makeover. Enter Edge. Praised for its newfound speed and modern design, it quickly became the new meme – supposedly the only one useful for downloading Chrome or, as an alternative, half-subscribing to the idea.

Oh, and Edge has about 5% of the browser market share globally – a mere hair’s breadth compared to Chrome’s monstrous 62-68%. In desktop terms? A breezy 11-12%, comfortably lounging around with its Windows buddies.

Chrome’s High Society Memory Usage 

Schwartz has had some spicy words for Chrome’s penchant for gobbling up RAM. His 2024 post poked fun at it devouring 10GB like it’s a snack! And by 2025, he couldn’t help but roast Google’s “user-hostile changes,” both in Chrome and Android, which managed to dismantle key features more effectively than a cartoon villain dismantling a superhero base.

Bottom line: Schwartz is sticking with his browser of choice, no “Edge” to his sensibilities in sight. After all, why switch hairdos if you already got the perfect comb-over?

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2025-12-14 12:30