Crypto News

Regardez donc cette bataille épique : BlackRock s’impose avec ses 970 millions, pendant qu’Ark tire la langue avec ses 200 millions envolés comme feuilles mortes. Mardi matin en Asie, notre BTC ne cède pas sous les 94 000 écus, un rempart que, franchi, pourrait le porter jusqu’aux cieux du 100 000.

Quant à XRP, Ether (ETH), Cardano avec son ADA, et le BNB du BNB Chain, tous demeurent figés comme statues, tandis que Solana, pauvre Solana, perd 2%. Ah! Monero (XMR) se prit un vol terrible de 8,5%, après une montée folle de 40% la veille, grâce à l’opération mystérieuse d’un hacker qui échangea 330 millions en BTC contre ce fantomatique jeton, comme l’a révélé le célèbre détective des blockchains ZachXBT.

According to the scribes at Bloomberg, this law grants permission for public funds to whirl into “digital representations of value,” a phrase broad enough to catch not only Bitcoin but also the elusive and sometimes absurd non-fungible tokens, those modern-day digital trinkets whose worth is often as mysterious as a Gogol character’s dream. 🌀

AMBCrypto’s analysis shines a light on the lack of solid fundamentals backing this wild ride. It seems the party might be over soon, with further losses lurking around the corner.

Following a brief flirtation with a record-breaking $109,000 high, Bitcoin seems poised for another gallop that even the most optimistic goblins in the crypto forests didn’t see coming.

From the shadowy alleys of power to the luminous streets of Paris, Messika has declared its allegiance not only to gold and diamonds but to the capricious blockchain ledgers that flutter like ephemeral butterflies through cyberspace. Boutique doors in Europe and the United States swing open, their thresholds crossed not merely by hands clutching purses, but by wallets encrypted in mysteries of cryptographic code.

But wait, what’s this? A suspiciously timed mass dumping spree of tokens worth a whopping $20 million? Why, it seems the folks behind TRUMP coin have been offloading their digital assets faster than you can say “get rich quick,” raising more than just a few eyebrows in the crypto market. Oh, and did I mention there’s a congressional inquiry into this whole affair? Because why not throw a little political drama into the mix? 🍿

The crypto crowd wasn’t shy about their skepticism—mostly because nobody enjoys being the last one holding the bag, especially when the bag smells like fried ballpark peanuts and broken dreams.

Unlike the sluggish tortoise of earlier crypto cards, this new marvel claims to settle your transactions in five seconds flat, thanks to the magical Linea network, a layer-2 enchantment that makes Ethereum a bit less of a penny-pinching miser. Fast, cheap, and just as mysterious as your uncle’s fishing stories — perfect for those who fancy sending coins into the ether with the blink of an eye.

These mercantile squabbles, he asserts with no small measure of gravity, rend asunder not only monetary but also political and international decorum, thereby fanning the flames of deglobalization and those ever-pesky trade imbalances. Such news to share upon the 28th of April via X, the modern missive of choice.

Right in the middle of this brainy blueprint sat a curious creature: a four-tier taxonomy beast! It sorts all those digital doodads into neat little boxes called Financial Securities, Digital Asset Investment Contracts, Digital Asset Commodities, and Other Digital Assets. It’s like putting wild goblins, pixies, trolls, and clever little imps into separate pens, so everyone knows who’s who. And get this — even if you slap a shiny token on a security, it’s still the same old rulebook, no magical escapes allowed!