So here’s the scoop: Nasdaq Inc., those high-falutin’ market fellas, sent a letter dated April 25 to the SEC’s own gatekeeper, Vanessa Countryman. Their top legal brain, John A. Zecca, laid out a grand vision to tidy up this digital asset hullabaloo without letting the investors get fleeced.
On a bright April morning, Coinbase (Nasdaq: COIN) bestowed upon us mere mortals the Coinbase Bitcoin Yield Fund (CBYF). Designed not to send your heart racing with despair but rather to flirt mildly with optimism, it targets the elusive 4-8% net return per annum—because why choose between excitement and safety when you can smugly balance both? Investors subscribe and redeem directly in BTC, like true connoisseurs of digital gold.
Now, typically, the 100-day EMA—the sedate middle sibling—should rest gracefully between the shorter 50 and grumbly 200 EMAs, smoothing out the market’s moods before the glorious golden cross, occurring when the 50 EMA confidently strides above the 200 EMA. But here we find a scene more befitting a winter’s tale: the 100 EMA clings stubbornly above both, a distorted relic born of Bitcoin’s tumultuous tumble and fiery resurrection early in 2025.
Picture this: a pint-sized mechanical butler—an AI minibot—ready to serve your every trivial desire while rewarding you with RICE tokens for simply existing in its algorithmic presence. Yes, your mundane human data helps nurture these digital offspring’s intellect. How delightfully Orwellian! 🕵️♂️
And speaking of “longs,” Bitcoin’s Funding Rate has flipped back into the positive, which means the bulls are firmly in control… at least for now. But here’s the twist: this surge in demand for long positions could be the prelude to a dramatic plot twist. A long squeeze, anyone? 😏
The wise sages at CME FedWatch offer their oracles: a mere 9% chance that rates will be trimmed down to a cozy 400–425 basis points, while a dignified 91% wager that the gods of finance will keep them steady, locked between 425 and 450 bps — no surprises there, just a grand old plateau.
As of April 25, Tether still commands a colossal 66% market share among stablecoins, while USDC, the reliable second place contender, struggles to hold onto a measly 28%. Meanwhile, Ethena’s USDe, which ranks a distant third, might as well be holding a “We Tried!” ribbon with its 2% market share. It’s like watching a three-legged race where one participant just gave up and decided to nap under a tree.
But wait, PENGU decided to put on its little penguin tuxedo and waddle right back, climbing over 230% from its April and yearly low. Impressive, right? Or just a fluke? Now the real question: can those bulls keep the joke going, or is this the punchline?
Kaiko’s clever little report tells us that this price popcorn was just the start. Oh no—onchain activity soared a gobsmacking 200%! Investors puffed their chests and dived headfirst into the frenzy, fighting tooth and nail (well, mostly with digital wallets) to score a prime spot at Trump’s exclusive banquet.
