Crypto News

Blockchain networking has become a bit of a love letter to AI developers lately, hasn’t it? Chromia’s rivals seem like desperate exes trying to win back AI’s affection—L1s and L2s throwing feature bouquets, claiming they’ll outshine the competition. But Chromia has written the ultimate sonnet: an array of vector databases whispering sweet nothings directly onchain. No more dependence on AWS or Google Cloud—despair silently, Bezos.

Verily, the new iShares Bitcoin ETP shall make its grand entrance upon the stages of Xetra and Euronext Paris, bearing the ticker IB1T, and also in Euronext Amsterdam under the name BTCN. 🎭

Mark your calendars for March 28, when the US Bureau of Economic Analysis (BEA) will unveil the next PCE report, which measures the inflation of prices that good ol’ American consumers are paying for their daily bread and other sundries. 🍞

Today’s jaw-dropping Dogecoin rally isn’t just because of a few tweets or memes. Oh no, it’s because the Dogecoin Foundation decided to play Santa Claus 🎅 and announced the “Official Dogecoin Reserve”. Their master plan? To make Dogecoin as stable as a rock and as attractive to institutional investors as a shiny new Tesla. 💎

But wait! There’s more! It seems that good ol’ Donald Trump—yes, that same fellow who’s been in more headlines than a particularly salacious gossip magazine—has also jumped on the crypto bandwagon. Since his re-entry into the political circus, he has proposed executive orders designed to boost the digital finance sector, including the rather ambitious Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. Because what could be more sensible than a strategic reserve of digital currency that exists as a series of numbers on a screen? 💾

A crypto analyst has proposed a theory explaining why Pi Network (PI) remains unlisted on major exchanges such as Binance and Coinbase.

On March 24th, the mastermind behind this crypto empire, Michael Saylor, proudly announced that they added a modest 6,911 BTC to their stash, worth a cool $584 million. That’s right—$584 million. You’d need a *lot* of avocado toast to spend that much, but I digress.

With Telegram’s user base bigger than the population of most countries (over1 billion monthly users, to be precise), it’s no wonder their cryptocurrency wallet is also swelling in popularity, now cozying up to over100 million users. It’s like the app is turning into a mini-economy all on its own, already trading in the big names like Bitcoin, Toncoin, and USDT, along with some whimsical gaming tokens for those who like their investments with a side of fun. 🎮💰

But fear not! The price action is as decisive as a toddler deciding whether to eat broccoli or ice cream. A breakout or a rejection at this critical junction could send prices soaring or plummeting faster than you can say “blockchain.” 🎢

Enter Trump’s latest brainchild, World Liberty Financial (WLFi), and their shiny new USD1 stablecoin. It’s like a hot dog at a baseball game—everyone’s talking about it, but nobody really knows what’s in it! 🌭