But don’t be dazzled by Bitcoin’s flashiness – Ethereum’s no mere copycat. Observing its daily candlestick chart (which looks, coincidentally, rather like the bar tab after a night out with Bertie Wooster), one might conclude that this is the start of a new, dashing uptrend – not just another one of those “me too!” rallies.
Well, it looks like Standard Chartered has had a little “oopsie” moment. Geoffrey Kendrick, the head honcho of digital assets at the bank, recently admitted that their oh-so-ambitious $120K Bitcoin forecast was a bit too modest. Yeah, that’s right – Bitcoin is now way past the $100K mark and still showing no signs of slowing down. Guess it’s time to apologize for underestimating the mighty BTC. 🙄
Ladies and gentlemen, gather ’round! The mighty financiers of BlackRock, sovereigns of assets large enough to buy several small countries (but who needs the paperwork?), did convene with the learned scribes of the SEC’s Crypto Task Force on the ninth day of May. One can only imagine the anxious rustling of velvet doublets and legal briefs as their agenda rolled in, fatter than a Parisian soufflé.
Most audacious: a 40x leveraged long on Bitcoin, entered at the genteel price of $94,000. Now, perched atop $5.4 million in theoretical gains as BTC glides above $100K, Wynn sips digital champagne. Still, this is but the amuse-bouche; on PEPE, a $56 million master’s stroke yields nearly $24 million more—enough to purchase an oligarch’s superyacht or a decent weekend in Monaco. Lesser baubles such as TRUMP and FARTCOIN have furnished $10 million in loose change, while HYPE provided a pittance of $31,000—barely dinner at The Ritz for a gentleman of Wynn’s sensibilities. 💸
Last year ended with so much optimism you’d have choked on it; the new year began like a hungover miner wondering where his shovel was. But now, the same scrappy bunch shouting “King of the Internet!” in every saloon are fist-bumping over Google Docs, grinning the way only the over-leveraged can grin.
“It’s a great time to be in the crypto ecosystem,” he quipped, pausing as if waiting for the balalaikas to join in. “More fiat money is hunting rare assets. The bull market is set to waltz on—so bring your dancing shoes, because this won’t be a polite tea party, but a wild bacchanal with digital fireworks.” 🥳
If you can follow this family tree without falling off a branch, Law360 reports those sharp lawyers representing the plaintiffs argued that a July 2024 decision by the UK Competition Appeal Tribunal—one throwing out a “loss of chance” claim faster than a riverboat gambler folds a bad hand—should be looked at again, this time with fewer squinting eyes. Let’s not forget, the investors originally washed up on the court’s front porch demanding a cool $9 billion. That’s enough for a gold-plated rocking chair and a small tropical island, give or take a few coconut trees.
Our memecoin hero bulldozed through that elusive $0.20 mark—a psychological barrier so formidable, one would expect it guarded by three bulldogs and a particularly stern butler. DOGE’s last dalliance with this level was back in March, before slipping out for a mysterious rendezvous elsewhere.
Bitcoin spot ETFs, which have arrived on the scene like grandmothers at a garage sale, armed with bags full of liquidity and no sense of historical baggage.
And who’s the grand master of ceremonies? None other than Charlie Lee, the creator of Litecoin himself. He’ll be kicking things off with a keynote address, probably offering some insights into the future of Litecoin—or, you know, some very cryptic answers to questions no one asked. After him, Loshan, a developer from the Litecoin Foundation, will drop the latest gossip on Litecoin’s future. 🤫