Crypto News

Well, folks, it seems Germany’s financial watchdog, BaFin, has decided to play the role of the schoolmarm and crack the whip on Ethena GmbH, a Frankfurt-based crypto outfit. The regulator has put the kibosh on the public sale of Ethena’s USDe token, a synthetic dollar that’s about as stable as a three-legged stool on a trampoline. Why? Because Ethena went and violated the European Union’s Markets in Crypto-Assets Regulation (MiCAR). BaFin reckons Ethena was peddling unregistered securities, which is about as legal as selling moonshine out of a barn.

Enter Alex McCullough, a data scientist from the bustling metropolis of New York. He took it upon himself to dive into this digital rabbit hole and emerged with a dashboard on Dune, showcasing Polymarket’s accuracy over various timeframes—one month, one week, a day, 12 hours, and even four hours before the market resolves. Because why not? If you’re going to predict the future, you might as well do it with flair and a side of analytics!

Story Highlights

So, Binance Research just dropped some truth bombs on crypto airdrops, and let’s just say they aren’t all rainbows and unicorns. Airdrops have gone from “free stuff!” to “uh, maybe not so much” as bots wreak havoc, eligibility is a mystery, and transparency is like the unicorn of the crypto world—never seen, but totally desired.

Yet, amidst this market maelstrom, Helium’s network, like a tenacious weed pushing through concrete, continued to expand. 🌱

A Bitcoin wallet, as dormant as a Salinas Valley winter, has burst back to life, transferring a whopping $250 million in BTC after a long, long nap of eight years. Blockchain sleuths at Arkham Intelligence report the whale’s been busy, conducting multiple transactions in the last 16 hours, because, why not? 🤑

Now, let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? The illustrious TRUMP token made its grand debut just days before the inauguration of the 45th and 47th (yes, you read that right) US president. At one point, it was the second-biggest meme coin, which is like being the second-best at juggling flaming swords—impressive, but still a bit dangerous.

Meanwhile, Dogecoin was busy practicing its downward dog pose, posting a -3% loss for the week. Cardano, ever the overachiever, made life easier for ADA short sellers with a -5.3% dip. Solana, not to be outdone, traded -3.76% lower. Bitcoin? Flatlined. But Toncoin? Oh, Toncoin was on fire. What fueled this meteoric rise? Let’s dive in.

The International Monetary Fund (IMF), that venerable institution known for its love of spreadsheets and economic jargon, has officially welcomed Bitcoin and its digital cousins into the hallowed halls of the Balance of Payments Manual (BPM7). Bitcoin, the rebellious teenager of the financial world, has been slapped with the label of “non-produced non-financial asset,” while other tokens like Ethereum and Solana are now considered part of the equity holding club. 🎉

Our dear crypto savant, Ali Martinez, heralded today the grandiose surge in XRP long positions on Binance, the behemoth of exchanges. The graph, a veritable Everest of optimism, shows longs ballooning overnight to command more than72% of all futures positions. A veritable feast for the bulls! 📈🎉