According to Forbes, GoMining will officially debut GoBTC at this year’s Consensus event, billing it as the “Bitcoin-native alternative to Visa and Mastercard.” And how can they pull this off? Simple: they control a chunk of the hash rate, which is basically the Bitcoin equivalent of having a golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s factory.
Anchorage Digital, proudly billed as the first federally chartered crypto bank in the United States (yes, even the “federal” part was an uphill fight), just unveiled its “Agentic Banking” concept. Think of it as the Swiss Bank of the future, except the Swiss are replaced by semi‑sentient programs that wake up at 3 a.m. and start trading before breakfast.
When asked on X about how much XRP he owns, David Schwartz surprised many with his response. He said his definition of a “small amount” is still over a million XRP, revealing he once held 26 million.
So, here’s the deal: Bitcoin’s recent downturn wasn’t just a random tantrum. According to CW, a market expert who’s basically the Liz Lemon of CryptoQuant, it was all about that pesky selling pressure. Turns out, the Futures Market was throwing a hissy fit, with increased short positions and leverage that would make even a Real Housewife blush. Derivatives traders, you’re the Regina George of this story.
Executives from Citi, JPMorgan, and DTCC recently shared that blockchain technology is now being actively used with actual transactions and customers, influencing how it’s being implemented in the financial world.
Solana Foundation and Google Cloud have teamed up to create Pay.sh, a service that allows AI programs to easily access and pay for tools (APIs) using digital currencies on the Solana network.
Behold, the steady march of capital into these U.S. spot Bitcoin ETFs, a testament to the unyielding desire of institutions. Yet, mark my words, this dance is led by but a few prima donnas, while the chorus remains silent. Bitcoin, ever the dramatic hero, has risen in tandem, breaching the psychological barrier with a flourish. Even Ether ETFs have joined the fray, though their steps are timid, their audience sparse.
Just as the Clarity Act was about to have its moment, the American Bankers Association and friends decided to throw a wrench in the works. Their beef? Stablecoin yields. Because if people can earn interest without a bank, what’s the point of being a bank?
Between the fateful dates of April 27 and May 3, the architects of this financial charade scrambled to launder over $92 million across various blockchain networks, their desperation as palpable as a Chekhovian protagonist’s existential dread. Of this ill-gotten treasure, approximately $63 million found its way into the coffers of Cobo, a custody provider, via four wallet addresses on the Tron network. How quaint-a digital heist with all the subtlety of a bear in a china shop.
The Center for AI Standards and Innovation (CAISI), a bastion of wisdom nestled within the Department of Commerce, shall be the arbiter of these models’ fate. With the gravity of a high priest, they shall conduct their rites of evaluation, scrutinizing performance and peril alike.