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Turns out this thing is physically backed, which for the layperson (read: me, who still thinks a cold wallet is a frozen one you keep in the freezer for when you run out of ice and need to chill a seltzer fast) means they hold actual BNB tokens in cold storage with a qualified custodian, instead of the sketchy derivative nonsense that makes you feel like you’re betting on crypto prices via a magic 8-ball held by a guy in a trench coat in a strip mall parking garage. No more worrying about losing your private keys to a phishing scam, or accidentally sending your life savings to a random address that ends in .eth because you typed too fast after one too many hard seltzers.

In an X post-that modern oracle of our age-Fergani proclaims with the certainty of a man who has seen God that the altcoin season shall arrive within six months. He points to the Others/BTC chart, a sacred text for the crypto faithful, which reveals that altcoins have formed a “strong support” at their current levels. Ah, support! That elusive, comforting word, like a mother’s embrace in a world of chaos. And so, they are poised, these altcoins, to soar against Bitcoin, to record gains that will make the hearts of the greedy sing.

The company announced in a recent blog post that a new feature is now available in the Gemini app. It gives users up-to-the-minute summaries of what’s happening in various markets, analyzes public opinion, and provides alerts based on current events. This covers areas like cryptocurrency, sports, commodities, politics, and the overall economy.