🇷🇺💸 Bye-Bye Bucks! Russia’s Dollar Dump Shakes the World 🌍

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In a move as audacious as a Bolshevik coup, Russia has all but abandoned the U.S. dollar, conducting a staggering 95% of its trade with China and India in their own quaint little currencies. The global financial order, once as sturdy as a Waugh novel’s plot, is now as wobbly as a tipsy aristocrat at Ascot.

95% of Russia’s Trade with China and India: Dollar, Be Gone! 👋

Ah, the sweet scent of de-dollarization! Russia, that indefatigable rogue of the global stage, has pivoted with the grace of a ballet dancer on vodka, shifting nearly all its trade settlements with China and India into their respective currencies. Deputy Prime Minister Alexander Novak, a man whose name sounds like a forgotten character from Brideshead Revisited, revealed this on October 20th. The dollar, once the hegemonic darling of international finance, is now as passé as a monocle at a tech conference.

Novak, in an interview with the Solovyov Live TV channel (a name that rolls off the tongue like a mouthful of borscht), quipped:

“The market itself meets the need for settlements in national currencies. With our dear comrades from China and India, we’ve switched to their rubles and rupees by 90-95%. It’s all quite automatic, you see, like a well-oiled samovar.”

He added, with a wink and a nod, that this transition occurred “without any purpose,” as if the West’s sanctions were merely a minor inconvenience, like a raincloud at a garden party. The global financial landscape, it seems, has adjusted to Russia’s exclusion from dollar-based systems with all the subtlety of a bear in a china shop.

Despite the geopolitical theatrics, Novak assured us that trade flows remain as robust as a Russian winter. Moscow continues to export its energy and commodities with the same zeal it once reserved for exporting revolutions. Bilateral ties, meanwhile, are flourishing like mushrooms after a rainstorm-or perhaps like oligarchs after a privatization spree.

The BRICS, ASEAN, and SCO nations, those plucky upstarts of the global order, are following suit, shedding the dollar like last season’s furs. Their goal? To reduce exposure to U.S. sanctions, inflationary risks, and the political whims of Uncle Sam. It’s a grand game of financial chess, with the dollar as the king teetering on the edge of the board. 🦅→🪨

FAQ 🧭

  • How significant is Russia’s de-dollarization gambit?
    As significant as a martini at midday-it’s reshaping global trade flows and giving the dollar a run for its money. Literally.
  • What’s the impact on Russia’s energy exports?
    Stable as a Soviet-era tractor, thanks to local currencies. Sanctions? More like a minor plot twist in a Tolstoy novel.
  • How are investors reacting to this multipolar moment?
    With the enthusiasm of a debutante at her first ball. BRICS and Asian markets are the new black, darling.
  • What’s the long-term fate of the U.S. dollar?
    Like a faded aristocrat, its dominance may wane, making way for a more diversified-and dare we say, exciting-global financial order. 🎭

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2025-10-21 08:04