Molière’s Bitcoin Farce: ETFs Outshine Comedians in Record Inflows!

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Markets

  • O brave new world of finance! U.S. spot bitcoin ETFs, with a flair for the dramatic, siphoned $1.1 billion in three days, with Monsieur BlackRock’s IBIT stealing the spotlight-half the treasure, mon dieu!
  • The Coinbase Premium Index, once a ghostly specter of despair, now dances back into positive territory. Ah, the return of American appetite for crypto, or perhaps a desperate gamble to outwit the taxman.
  • CME open interest plummets like a poorly written sonnet. One might suspect these ETFs are not mere investors but a troupe of comedians donning long-position wigs.

Behold, dear reader, the U.S. bitcoin ETFs threaten to shatter a five-week outflow curse, their performance since mid-January nothing short of a Molièrean farce. With $1.1 billion in three days, they now cling to $815 million in net gains-nearly as thrilling as a coin-toss performance.

BlackRock’s IBIT, the star of the show, hoarded $652 million in three days, while Grayscale’s GBTC, burdened by fees that make a nobleman weep, managed its largest inflow since donning the ETF mask. A tale of greed and gilded fees, if ever there were one.

The Coinbase Premium Index, once a glum spectator for 40 days, now blushes pink with optimism. Does this signal U.S. demand or merely a collective delusion? Meanwhile, Checkonchain’s data whispers of 1.29 million BTC hoarded by ETFs, AUM crawling back toward October’s peak like a drunkard clutching a bottle.

All this, while bitcoin itself lingers 45% below its October high, stubbornly hovering near $60,000-a price that makes even the most ardent investor cross their fingers and pray to the crypto gods.

And lo, the CME’s open interest dwindles to a paltry 107,780 BTC. One might argue institutions are swapping futures for ETFs, or perhaps they’ve simply forgotten how to trade. Either way, it’s less thrilling than a peasant’s attempt at courtly poetry.

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2026-02-27 13:19