Monero (XMR), the cryptocurrency that’s more secretive than my browser history 🕵️♂️, has hit a new all-time high. Because apparently, privacy is back in fashion-who knew?
With Zcash developers jumping ship faster than rats on the Titanic, everyone’s suddenly realizing, “Hey, Monero still exists!” And just like that, XMR is the prom queen nobody saw coming.
Now Monero’s price is mooning harder than a SpaceX launch. 🚀 Next stop: Mars? Or just another pump-and-dump scheme? Stay tuned!
Monero Bulls Flex Harder Than My Gym Resolution
2026 started with Monero doing its best impression of a caffeinated squirrel-up, up, and away! XMR isn’t just breaking records; it’s smashing them like Larry David at a silent meditation retreat. 🙉
Breaking past $430? Please. That resistance folded faster than a cheap lawn chair. Now we’re eyeing $640 like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party.
And get this-trading volume surged 44%. That’s more enthusiasm than I’ve mustered for anything since Seinfeld reruns. Market cap? A cool $11.8 billion. Not bad for a coin that’s basically digital Swiss cheese.
Fibonacci levels suggest $655, then $690. But let’s be real-crypto predictions are about as reliable as my ex’s promises. Still, $870-$1020? Sure, why not? At this point, anything’s possible.
Meanwhile, Monero’s fundamentals are stronger than my disdain for small talk. Developers are coding, miners are mining, and users are… well, probably hiding something. 🤫
Some guy on X (formerly Twitter-thanks, Elon) claims XMR bounced from $420 and rallied 45%. Coincidence that $420 is involved? I think not. 🍁
$XMR bounced hard from $420 and surged +45%
What’s next?
As long as bulls stay in control → trend continuation in play.
Eyes on the upper wedge and the $700 round number.
Momentum still favors the upside. Are you holding or waiting for a pullback?
– AltCryptoTalk (@AltCryptoTalk) January 12, 2026
Monero’s out of its “accumulation phase” (whatever that means) and now cruising in an ascending channel. If bulls keep their act together, $700 could be next. Or it could crash faster than my last relationship. Crypto, baby! 🎢
What’s Next? Probably Disappointment
As long as Monero stays above $600, bulls can keep pretending they know what they’re doing. But let’s face it-this could all go south faster than a tourist in a Times Square souvenir shop.
$700? Maybe. A pullback to $620? Also maybe. Either way, grab your popcorn. This show’s just getting started-and unlike my dating life, it might actually go somewhere. 🍿
Read More
- Tom Cruise? Harrison Ford? People Are Arguing About Which Actor Had The Best 7-Year Run, And I Can’t Decide Who’s Right
- How to Complete the Behemoth Guardian Project in Infinity Nikki
- The Housewives are Murdering The Traitors
- Balatro and Silksong “Don’t Make Sense Financially” And Are “Deeply Loved,” Says Analyst
- The King of Wakanda Meets [Spoiler] in Avengers: Doomsday’s 4th Teaser
- Is Michael Rapaport Ruining The Traitors?
- What Fast Mode is in Bannerlord and how to turn it on
- Fate of ‘The Pitt’ Revealed Quickly Following Season 2 Premiere
- ‘Stranger Things’ Conformity Gate and 9th Episode Fan Theory, Explained
- Mario Tennis Fever Release Date, Gameplay, Story
2026-01-13 09:38