The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Age Is Just a Number

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This episode revolves around a party Adriana throws for Art Basel, but honestly, most of the art featured is pretty bad. Chris Rivers, the artist and focus of the party, isn’t terrible – his landscape paintings are decent enough for a smaller hotel. However, he’s the only one with anything good on display. Larsa’s giant gummy bear statue feels like a cheap imitation of Jeff Koons’ work. Lisa claims to love art, but all we see are sparkly portraits of herself that look like they belong in a budget hotel. Her purchase of a Chris Rivers painting was actually a smart move.

Before we dive into the drama at the art party, I want to address a couple of storylines that are really bothering me, and honestly, I’d rather avoid. First, there’s the situation with Alexia and Todd. Their explosive fight at the beginning of the season seemed like it would be a major focus, but Alexia hasn’t really shared what happened as she tries to reconcile with Todd, which is frustrating to watch. It’s surprising she’s even still on the show, especially since Todd clearly dislikes being filmed.

Honestly, it’s difficult to get invested in this drama because I already know how it ends, and Stephanie is spot-on. If someone wants to remove themselves from the situation, you should let them. What’s really frustrating is that his strategy actually worked. He left Alexia, divorced her without any discussion, and now she’s letting him control whether or not they reconcile. As Larsa and Stephanie pointed out when she visited Larsa’s work site, Alexia needs to reclaim her agency. She deserves to have a say, and understanding her own value and setting clear boundaries in the relationship are far more important than simply trying to please Todd.

It really frustrates me to see Lisa pushing Jody to get married. She says she doesn’t want to pressure Jody, but then immediately follows that up with a demand to either commit to forever or leave. It sounds a lot like an ultimatum! It’s concerning because Lisa is quickly moving from one unhappy marriage into what seems like another. Shouldn’t she focus on spending time with her children, discovering herself, and figuring out what *she* truly wants before rushing into anything new?

This situation really brings to mind a previous dinner Lisa had with Lenny, where he completely ignored her and spent the whole time being critical and unpleasant. It’s the same pattern – another man, like Lenny and Todd, is essentially dictating what Lisa needs to do to earn his affection. He’s complaining that she creates ‘chaos’ when issues arise with Lenny or Larsa (which seems to be a reference to the show’s drama) and then vents her frustrations by criticizing him – even over something as odd as how he stands in a doorway. Honestly, it sounds like a really specific and strange complaint, and makes me think he’s trying to find something to be upset about.

Jody is telling Lisa she’ll only get a proposal sooner if she works on herself – like by reading self-help books or going to therapy. While I’m a big believer in personal growth and therapy, this feels controlling. It’s like he’s saying she has to change to *earn* his commitment. Honestly, she deserves better. Forget him! She doesn’t need this. I say ask Russell to introduce her to one of the firefighters and find happiness elsewhere – maybe even until the kids are grown!

I’ve mentioned before that the dynamic between Julia and her daughters seems strange, and I still don’t fully understand what’s going on – it feels like we’re not hearing the whole truth. When Julia tries to discuss it with Martina, Martina completely ignores everyone’s feelings except her own. For example, when Julia said her daughters wished they’d still been living at home when their babies were born, Martina brushed it off and insisted it would have been a disaster. Then, Martina claimed the daughters didn’t want to know about the adoption process (which seems odd!), but then got upset when it happened without them. Honestly, something about this whole situation doesn’t add up, and it makes me uncomfortable.

Adriana’s party is finally here, and everyone dressed to impress! Adriana herself is wearing a stylish black and silver mini-dress with a sparkly blazer draped over her shoulders – a look insiders are calling the “editor’s cape.” Larsa stunned in a figure-hugging velvet bodysuit, and Stephanie looked fantastic in a blue blazer with black accents and a unique aqua detail on the chest. Seriously, the fashion is on point! It’s a shame her outfit for the reunion wasn’t as strong – it reminded some people of the Riddler, but with a lot more flair.

Okay, let me tell you, the moment Larsa walked into that party, she immediately turned detective, obsessing over who put Adriana’s age – written as a math problem, no less – on her cake. Like last time, she grilled everyone, and her suspect list quickly narrowed to Julia, who actually ordered the cake, and Marysol, her longtime rival. After a lot of questioning, Marysol finally spilled the beans – and you will *not* believe who was behind it: Kiki Barth! Seriously? Sweet, innocent Kiki? I never would have suspected her! It’s just shocking to think she’d pull something like this.

We then see Kiki previously explaining her plan to Marysol, revealing she thought it would be a playful nod to Adriana’s wish to feel young again, despite Adriana saying she preferred being 45. Kiki did it because she thought it was a sweet gesture, but when it didn’t go as planned, she felt bad. She didn’t want to ruin the cruise, so she decided to apologize at the party. She plans to tell Adriana she’s truly sorry and meant no offense, and as a funny replacement for a birthday cake next year, she’ll gift her a vibrator. That’s just classic Kiki – she’s all heart.

It’s frustrating to watch because Larsa and Adriana completely dominate the conversation with negativity and just seem to enjoy being mean. There was this moment where Lisa and Larsa were hugging, and Julia chimed in, saying she wished she and Adriana had that same closeness again. It seemed like a good opportunity for them to talk things out, and Lisa even tried to get them chatting about fixing their friendship. But Larsa immediately derailed the conversation, asking about who revealed Adriana’s age on the cake! Then, Lisa blurted out it was Kiki, which just made things way worse and put Adriana on the spot. It was a really awkward and unnecessary moment.

Julia tries to smooth things over, suggesting Kiki didn’t mean any harm and was probably just joking. But Larsa, who is notoriously uncharitable, sharply tells Julia to be quiet. She insists Kiki was intentionally being mean to Adriana, pointing to a previous incident during their fight in Spain. The real issue, though, is Larsa’s own negativity – she’s so cynical that she always assumes the worst in people. It’s hard to believe Kiki would deliberately try to hurt someone’s feelings.

Adriana was angry that Julia was taking Kiki’s side, and Julia pointed out that Adriana had previously hurt Marysol in a similar way. This made Adriana even more upset, as she felt Julia wasn’t supporting her. I understand Adriana feels Julia isn’t as close to her anymore, but they don’t know everything that happened. Julia was simply suggesting they shouldn’t assume the worst about Kiki, while Larsa, who’s stirring up trouble, is actively trying to manipulate the situation.

Adriana and Julia aren’t close, and they both have strong feelings about why. Adriana believes Julia sides with people she dislikes, while Julia feels Adriana is no longer enjoyable to be around, often bringing negativity to their interactions. Adriana is deeply hurt by this and likely won’t be able to move past it. She expects complete loyalty and ends friendships immediately if she feels let down.

Julia is spot-on – Adriana, just like Larsa, tends to focus on the negative in people, and she’s doing the same thing here, escalating the situation with Larsa. Before Kiki can even speak to her, Adriana, who is with her friend Carol at the bar, immediately confronts Kiki, claiming, “You’re calling me a racist for saying ‘ratched.’ Carol has something to say too.” This is the old Adriana – the one viewers who joined the show later might not remember – who twists arguments, misinterprets things intentionally, and attacks people at the most inconvenient time. Kiki never actually called her racist, even during their disagreement, and they’d already resolved this issue with a hug in Spain. Everything was fine, but Adriana has made up her own story – believing Kiki is acting out of revenge and thinks she’s racist – and is now retaliating when Kiki didn’t even do anything wrong. Adriana tends to react impulsively without getting the full story.

The situation quickly spiraled out of control. Kiki immediately denied calling Adriana a racist, but Adriana came across as defensive, almost offering the classic excuse of having Black friends. While I don’t believe Adriana *is* racist, she may not have fully understood the impact of some of her words, and that’s not necessarily a huge offense. They both explained their sides, and it seemed like they could move past it. However, Kiki suddenly became frightened and abruptly left the party, essentially disappearing. The opportunity for a simple conversation and resolution was lost. What could have been easily resolved escalated into a much larger issue, culminating in one woman leaving an art party feeling misunderstood.

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2025-09-19 07:03