Bitcoin Won’t Die – Thanks to Rich Anarchists & Digital Gold 🏴‍☠️💸

One Paolo Ardoino, a gentleman of indeterminate origin but definite opinions, currently occupying the lofty perch of Chief Executive Officer at Tether (a name which, until recently, sounded like a watersports accessory), has deigned to pronounce upon the enduring fortitude of Bitcoin. 🎩

According to this oracle of blockchain banality, the cryptocurrency remains “strong” – not, heavens forbid, because it might be useful or stable, but because it offers something truly decadent in our over-regulated age: freedom. Yes, that troublesome notion last seen fleeing the scene of a taxes audit in 1913. 🏃‍♂️💨

Ardoino, puffing on a metaphorical pipe of decentralization, insists that despite valiant (and, one assumes, government-led) attempts to crush Bitcoin like a pesky digital beetle, the people – by which he means an assortment of cyber-libertarians, fugitive financiers, and men who own more graphics cards than socks – still adore their right to move money like ghosts through firewalls. 👻📉

No more banks! No more governments! No more knowing where your pension went! Under Bitcoin, the common man – or at least the uncommonly reckless one – may finally manage his wealth in blissful isolation, far from prying eyes and pesky regulations. Privacy! Autonomy! And possibly money laundering, but let’s not split hairs. ✂️😉

Thus, with the quiet confidence of a man who has never been audited by Her Majesty’s Revenue, Ardoino declares Bitcoin a “lasting and trusted option” – likely because it’s the only asset class where losing your password is considered a feature, not a bug. 🔐❌

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2025-11-24 09:19