This summer promises drama to shame even the most turbulent Shakespearian play, and, alas, our poor crypto market is the tragic hero trembling on the precipice of policy. Lawmakers in Washington, steadfast in their commitment to bickering, may yet send digital fortunes swooning—or soaring—with the flick of a legislative quill.
Matt Hougan, Bitwise’s Chief Investment Officer and unwitting Cassandra, recently lamented in his blog (with barely a sigh, nor a fainting couch in sight) that Congress might squander its glittering chance to immortalize crypto regulation in marble—or at least, sturdy parchment. Despite executive enthusiasm, Hougan senses Capitol Hill’s talent for torpedoing progress is unmatched outside a Parisian salon.
How the White House Discovered Crypto at a Dinner Party
While our dear Matt sees Bitcoin’s future studded with new all-time highs (one suspects he’s hedged his bets), he warns that the eternal foe known as “people”—specifically, politicians—could throw a stiletto in the works. “What could derail crypto?” he ponders. “Why, politicians, naturally. Who else would invent so many ways to say ‘no’?”
The Trump administration, that perpetual font of surprises, has in a flourish created strategic Bitcoin reserves, knighted crypto as a national darling, and even toppled the dread SAB 121 guideline—all to the delight of speculators and meme lords alike.
And let’s not forget star appointments: Paul Atkins reigns at the SEC like a benevolent cryptocrat, while David Sacks, crowned the White House’s dual ‘crypto and A.I. czar’, surveys the land with a ledger and a neural net. The crypto faithful cheer, champagne corks pop, and somewhere, Satoshi smiles—or grimaces—it’s impossible to say.
But ah! These feats, dashing and daring as they may be, could vanish like morning mist if the next administration is less enamoured of digital baubles. Only Congress, in one of its rare spasms of legislation, can provide the permanence investors crave. Hougan petitions for at least a shred of law—perhaps a stablecoin statute—to shout “Crypto’s here to stay!” in a register lawmakers can hear over their own debates.
The GENIUS Act: Stablecoins and Stagnation
Enter the GENIUS Act, a bill so brilliant it briefly united senators from both sides—before collapsing under the weight of its own cleverness. A promising 18–6 committee vote in March gave way to May’s true spectacle: nine Democratic senators evacuating to safer rhetorical ground, citing AML and KYC with the conviction of actors forgetting their lines.
Hougan, ever the wit, suspects politics rather than policy doomed the bill. He also casts a jaundiced eye upon crypto’s own schemers for attempting to fuse stablecoin law with sprawling market reforms—a move that, like all overambitious fusions (see: peanut butter and caviar), threatens to ruin both dishes. “The perfect is the enemy of the good,” he sighs, probably while readjusting a particularly flamboyant cravat.
Yet, hope stirs eternal in the financial breast. Hougan dares to dream that the prospect of economic and geopolitical glitz will shock Congress into action. Should D.C. miraculously synchronize its watches, he predicts an unstoppable crypto bull market—and, one imagines, an outpouring of tweets with rocket emojis.
Featured image courtesy of DALL-E, with charting bravura from TradingView. Honestly, what can’t machines do these days? 🥂
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2025-05-07 13:39