You’ll Never Guess Who Meta’s Sweet-Talking for AI! (Hint: Ex-GitHub Boss 👀)

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Somewhere in the smoking labyrinthine corridors of Meta Platforms—where the ghosts of statuses update and employees walk backwards, so their ambitions keep up—whispers are circulating as thick as Moscow fog. The cause? Meta, the conjurer behind the blue Facebook curtain, desires the services of no less a luminary than Nat Friedman, former GitHub czar and, perhaps, owner of remarkable hats. This dazzling revelation, brought to light by the mysterious chroniclers at The Information, comes by way of “someone familiar with the matter”—which, as everyone knows, is a highly reliable species.

Not content with one Friedman (because why have one when you can have two?), Meta’s allegedly laying traps for Daniel Gross, Friedman’s co-conspirator from their shadowy investment den, NFDG. Picture the scene: two investment wizards, pockets brimming with magical startup trinkets, being tempted by Silicon Valley’s answer to Behemoth himself. There’s even talk of acquiring a slice of NFDG’s treasure trove. Skulls? Goblets? Perhaps just stock.

Why such machinations? Meta has noticed (with mouth slightly agape) that “everyone else is doing AI.” From Menlo Park to Minsk, the tech elite have been struck by AI fever. Meta, eager not to miss out on this lucrative, possibly world-ending craze, recently hurled an eye-watering $14.8 billion into Scale AI, which is—rumor has it—their second-most extravagant gesture after Mark Zuckerberg’s new haircut.

Speaking of Scale AI, Alexandr Wang—CEO, superintelligence ringmaster, and presumable chess grandmaster—has been brought in to lead a crusade against the specter of not being the smartest in the room. And lest it all sound too newfangled: Friedman is already in Meta’s exclusive Advisory Group, where wise heads occasionally send smoke signals about the future of technology (or at least mumble politely).

Of course, Meta, with the intrigue of a Kremlin holiday party, is declining to comment. The world waits. The meetings, the money, the AI; it’s almost like Tolstoy, but with more venture capital and fewer duels.

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2025-06-19 23:33