In the land of innovation and sand, an Israeli cyber cabal—NSO Group, purveyors of electronic intrigue—have been handed a bill so grand, one could easily mistake it for a debutante’s dowry: one hundred sixty-seven million, two hundred fifty thousand American dollars (and a handful more for good measure). Their crime? Turning WhatsApp into a most unintended masquerade ball, where 1,400 uninvited guests did waltz right into strangers’ parlours, shoes unpolished, morals even less so.
Pegasus, their crown jewel—zero-click espionage for the gadget-eager class—let digital footpads ransack your pockets while you weren’t even looking. Why click when you can be robbed in your sleep, darling?
Back in the year 2019, when “going viral” was still an aspiration, WhatsApp, that social salon, discovered Pegasus prowling its corridors with abandon, eavesdropping on rabble-rousers, scribblers, and professional troublemakers. Suing the NSO Group, WhatsApp demanded satisfaction—whereupon the American justice system, after a six-year slumber worthy of Snow White, finally awoke and delivered a verdict with the subtlety of a steamroller.
According to the chroniclers at Axios, the Californian jury offered their opinion with a sum that could buy enough avocados to bankrupt Los Angeles: $167.25 million to salve WhatsApp’s wounded pride, plus $444,719 for emotional damages—possibly the price of three lawyers’ lunches.
Tuesday’s judgement followed December’s prologue, when the presiding judge declared the NSO Group the unlikely protagonist in a drama of hacking and breach of contract.
The NSO Group, naturally, insists it’s misunderstood. Their comment, brushed with sincerity and the cant of a saint wrongly accused:
“We firmly believe our technology saves kittens, banishes villains, and is only entrusted to governments who would never, ever, ever misuse such power. Pinky promise.”
WhatsApp, now basking in judicial sunlight and dreaming of philanthropy, promises to fling some of its winnings at organizations defending us all from digital Peeping Toms. How noble!
“Today’s verdict marks a milestone for privacy and security! Hooray for fighting invisible crime in the invisible age.” 📱🔒🎉
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2025-05-08 20:47