You Won’t Believe Why US Crypto Laws Are Stuck in Senate Limbo 🥸💸

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If you’ve ever wondered what happens when the world of politics meets the world of cryptocurrency, the answer is: chaos, paperwork, and far too many capital letters. US Senators, those brave souls who can argue about literally anything, are now facing the Herculean task of passing crypto legislation. That is, if they can stop arguing about which side of the ethical fence they’re currently trespassing on.

The latest episode unfolds with Senators Elizabeth Warren and Jeff Merkley, who, armed with a suspiciously formal letter (and probably a magnifying glass), demanded the Office of Government Ethics investigate rumors swirling around President Donald Trump’s fondness for crypto. It turns out that the Trump-MGX-Binance-World Liberty Financial (WLFI) ménage à quatre is less dull investment strategy and more reality TV, with claims that Trump’s family could make enough money to buy every gold-plated golf cart in Florida.

Apparently, there’s a $2 billion investment swirling around a stablecoin called USD1. It sounds like Monopoly money, but with more zeroes and fewer rules. Skeptical senators argue that this investment is basically a backdoor for foreign influence… and also a front door, the back patio, and the secret wine cellar.

“This deal raises the troubling prospect that the Trump and Witkoff families could expand the use of their stablecoin as an avenue to profit from foreign corruption.”

On top of this, Trump recently hosted a dinner priced at $1.5 million per plate. One assumes the salad came with a side of golden croutons and a signed non-fungible token. This gathering followed another dinner for the MAGA Inc. super PAC, where the soup probably cost more than most people’s cars. Not to be outdone, there are even rumors of a gala for dedicated Trump memecoin holders, because apparently dinner conversation hasn’t been awkward enough this year.

When “Genius” Is Just the Acronym

All this drama would be enough for most mortals, but the Senate is also wrestling with the so-called GENIUS Act (Guiding and Establishing National Innovation for US Stablecoins). Don’t let the clever name fool you—this bill has been parked with its hazards on for weeks. Some lawmakers want more hearings, and others are busy wondering how to spell “bipartisan” without accidentally starting an argument about crypto regulation. 🧑‍⚖️

Senate Majority Leader John Thune, in the grand tradition of politicians everywhere, is happy to make “a few tweaks” if that’ll get the bill through the door. Meanwhile, Senator Rand Paul is sitting on the fence so hard he’s probably got splinters, and over in the House, Maxine Waters has shut down a digital assets discussion faster than you can say “blockchain buzzword.”

If you’re keeping score: that’s Dems blocking, GOP debating, and absolutely nobody progressing. The only real winners are the professional committee chairs industry and those with bingo cards for the phrase “American Innovation and the Future of Digital Assets.”

The Crypto Community Reacts (With Memes, Obviously)

Over in CryptoLand, prominent keyboard warriors and memelords are unimpressed. Tyler Winklevoss, for example, took to X (which normal people still call Twitter) to suggest that certain senators are doing such a bad job with crypto that they could unintentionally hand over every swing state to the GOP. It’s not bipartisan if both sides just want to flip the table, right?

So, here we are: lots of outrage, no clear winners, and still no stablecoin legislation. On the bright side, if this keeps up, the only stable thing about US crypto law will be how reliably unstable it is. 🤷‍♂️

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2025-05-06 11:48