You Won’t Believe Why Everyone’s Obsessed with the Mysterious XRP ETF! 🚀

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It was with a mixture of impatience and a sort of resigned amusement, found only in those who have observed the world’s repeated follies, that investors watched as yet another stack of XRP ETF applications gathered dust upon the stolid desk of the Securities and Exchange Commission. Ten—no, perhaps more than ten—such documents, filled with eager hopes and even eagier forecasts, lay in wait for the great bureaucratic nod. Springtime expectations had blossomed for a May approval. Alas, Spring is for poets—regulators choose delay as if it were a fine wine, and now all hold their breath as if it matters greatly.

On the Mysteries of Human Longing (and XRP)

It is, no doubt, a marvel—almost a comedy—why so many await XRP ETFs, as if the fate of civilization rested upon it. Some, with the innocence of peasants before a new plow, see these funds as the gentle hand that might lead cautious institutions into the wild pastures of altcoin investment, all neatly, without the perilous bother of buying XRP directly. Others imagine a surge of public frenzy, swelling XRP’s price to celestial heights to the smug delight of early acquirers. There is a childlike faith here, reminiscent of the way Russians once waited annually for the ice to break on the Volga: “Surely, this year the price will rise!” Perhaps. Or perhaps the ice will simply groan, crack a little, and remain stubbornly frozen.

Into this hopeful throng steps Dan Tapiero, founder of 10T Holdings, a man whose beard surely grows as he contemplates crypto winters. In a recent interview, he praised XRP, survivor of lawsuits and neglect, resilient as a Tolstoyan serf who keeps his plot despite Tsarist decrees and one too many seasons of lean harvests. Through SEC storms, XRP did not vanish into the mists of irrelevance—a fact Tapiero says should count for something. “There’s value there,” he pronounced, and the crowd nodded, as crowds do, delighted to hear their faith mirrored by one with a respectable title. 😂

But let it not be said that America is left out of this theatre! No, now there is talk—half jest, half serious—of XRP’s latest merit: that it too is “Made in America.” After all, why should only household blenders and questionable infomercial gadgets claim such honor? With whispers of association with President Trump’s strategic crypto reserve, with Ripple’s own Brad Garlinghouse cheerfully co-starring in this political operetta, XRP has donned its star-spangled robes. Nothing, it seems, gladdens investors quite like the hope that their cryptocurrency is patriotic.

To Heights Unseen!—Or So They Say

What next, you ask? The prophets of XRP await—the bullish, the ever-bullish—claiming that this ETF arrival, like the steam engine on the Russian steppe, will usher in a new era. They point, with trembling finger, at Bitcoin’s ETF-fueled march beyond $100,000, as though history is a dog eagerly repeating tricks. XRP, they whisper, will surely rise to $4, breaking records old enough to vote. Rivers of institutional cash, they claim, will irrigate XRP’s dry fields, finally crowning it as the chosen coin of banks—the “digital asset of institutions.” Is it truth, is it fantasy? In the world of finance, who can say? All that is certain is that people will wait, and watch, and talk. Oh, how they will talk. 😏

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2025-05-02 17:13