Gather around, internet degenerates and day traders! Here are five PumpFun tokens you should absolutely not tell your grandparents about: FARTCOIN, Alchemist AI (ALCH), HOUSE, GORK, and AVA. FARTCOIN bull-runs its way to a $1.1 billion market cap, up 343% since March 1. That’s not a typo—billions, with a B. The only thing outpacing it is your regret for not buying sooner.
ALCH and AVA are the teacher’s pets with “innovative narratives,” while GORK and HOUSE are basically toddlers hopped up on Red Bull—high volume, higher drama. All five are dancing just above key price levels, so expect either fireworks or total collapse. Crypto!
FARTCOIN
FARTCOIN: the name alone blows the competition away (pun very intended). It’s now the king of PumpFun hill, sitting on a throne worth $1.1 billion, after mooning 144% lately. The rest of the market? Stuck in the bathroom. FARTCOIN, though, rips a 343% gain since March and leaves the others in a cloud of dust.
This coin is all about consistent performance, which is more than you can say for most crypto (or my attempts at keto).
Chart nerd alert: the vibes are still bullish, but the difference between quick and slow moving averages is shrinking—think of it as FARTCOIN taking a breather after sprinting up the stairs. If bulls bully their way past $1.20 and $1.28, $1.60 could be in play. But if support at $1.06 breaks? Down she goes, next stop $0.94 and a round of awkward DMs to your ex-financial advisor.
Alchemist AI (ALCH)
ALCH: The “I built this in my garage with AI” coin. It lets you make stuff with artificial intelligence and natural language, which is just a fancy way of saying it’s what people in Silicon Valley do between kombucha tastings.
ALCH shot up almost 170% this month, now rocking a $153 million market cap—a solid performance, though your grandma is still asking why you don’t invest in real estate instead.
Tinfoil hat time: if it breaks $0.184, it could head for new highs near $0.239. But if $0.155 falls out from under it, next up is a trip to $0.132 or even $0.076, aka panic-sell territory.
Housecoin (HOUSE)
HOUSE: In case you wanted a coin that sounds like a Monopoly prize. It’s making serious noise at $69 million, cracking the top 10. (Insert nice joke here.) It pumped 23% this week, but just faceplanted 22% overnight because: meme coins.
If it hangs onto $0.0569, a bounce to $0.0835 or maybe even $0.13 isn’t out of the question. If it drops, let’s just say, call a plumber—things could get messy fast.
New XAI Gork (GORK)
GORK: the latest magic trick in the PumpFun circus. Only a few days old, already sitting at $51 million because why not? Trading volume jumped 82% in 24 hours—so basically, everyone decided to YOLO at the same time.
In the last day, GORK is up 7%, eyeing resistance at $0.076. If the mob stays hyped, we might see $0.095. But the mood here changes faster than a TikTok trend. If things sour, it could faceplant to $0.0355. Stay tuned for thrills, chills, and maybe some spilled milk!
Ava AI (AVA)
AVA: the AI darling for anyone who wanted to “pivot to storytelling.” Up 72% this week, market cap now $83 million, despite catching its breath (down 6%) in the last 24 hours. Props to the Holoworld team for giving AI a job as your next favorite storyteller.
AVA could test resistance at $0.0919 if it gets its groove back. Or it could spiral to $0.076, maybe even $0.0655, depending on how moody the next 24 hours are. Invest wisely—or at least have a good meme reaction ready!
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2025-05-06 00:08