Alon Cohen, the mastermind behind meme coin mecca Pump.fun, just dropped the mic on the chaos surrounding the “epic flop” that is the Javier Milei-endorsed LIBRA token. Picture a dumpster fire 🔥 but with more zeroes. Cohen? Furious. Investors? Wiped out. Popcorn? Ready. 🍿
Apparently, the whole thing went from presidential finger guns to financial Armageddon in record time. President Milei denies endorsing the coin, despite posting (and hastily deleting) a love letter to it on X. 🚀💔 Meanwhile, trader Hayden “Oops-I-Did-It-Again” Davis is sitting on $100 million worth of rubble from LIBRA’s launch, claiming the cash was totally for “reinvestment”—translation: it’s looking real cozy in his pocket.
Meme Coins: The Wild West 🤠
Cohen practically threw his keyboard at X, calling LIBRA’s rise and plummet “gross” and accusing its masterminds of robbing investors faster than a pickpocket at a Coney Island hotdog stand. 🌭 His solution? Decentralize the meme coin hustle, cut out sneaky middlemen, and give every grandma with internet access a fair shot at building her own Dogecoin 2.0. 💻👵
“At least in Vegas, they give you free drinks while you’re getting ripped off,” Cohen quipped, before calling on anyone with insider dirt to slide into his DMs. (Meanwhile, the FBI is already halfway out the door 🚪✈️.)
Javier Milei: Meme Coin Cupid or Chaos Agent? 🧐
And then, there’s Milei. Oh, Milei. The Argentine President insists he “helped spread the word” but denies endorsing LIBRA directly. (Rumor has it his Valentine’s post was a little too enthusiastic. 🐻 > 🚀 > 🤦♂️.) The coin’s market cap soared past $4 billion, only for those pesky insiders to cash out to the tune of $100 million, leaving everyone else with a meme—and not the funny kind.
Lawyers? They’re not laughing. Argentina’s finest are now asking the Department of Justice and the FBI to investigate Milei for fraud. Add criminal complaints to the man’s political résumé, and voila! You’ve got a meme presidency for the ages.👨⚖️
The Crypto Comedy Continues 🎭
As this circus unfolds, Hayden Davis went on the air with Barstool Sports founder Dave “Jailstool” Portnoy to explain his role in the chaos. His defense? Withstand the urge to laugh: “The $100 million was for reinvestment, but hey, the President forgets to film Video #2, and here we are!” The only thing more questionable than Milei’s marketing skills might just be Hayden’s plan. 🥴
For now, Davis says he fears for his “safety”—though it’s unclear which is scarier: angry investors or an IRS audit. Either way, LIBRA has officially entered the crypto hall of shame next to such illustrious companions as JAILSTOOL and BirdCoin. 🪙🐦
Stay tuned, folks—this meme coin saga could soon feature a courtroom, handcuffs, and maybe even a Netflix miniseries. One thing’s for sure: it’s a “crypto comedy of errors” 🤡 nobody saw coming, except, you know, everyone. 💀
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2025-02-18 13:33