You Won’t Believe What the Senate Just Did to Crypto! Stablecoins Enter the Spotlight 🚹

by

On a certain Tuesday—grey, perpetual, like the wallpaper in committee rooms—the Senate, having tired perhaps of haranguing one another or counting their collection of dusty gavels, passed the GENIUS Act. A triumph, at least for those who still find genius in acronyms. For the first time, the mysterious ways of stablecoins, those digital chameleons, would be blessed by federal regulatory incense.

With a vote count resembling a good mushroom harvest (68-30), private companies can now issue digital dollars, but not without the warm, reassuring hug—nay, bear hug—of federal oversight. Picture a government clerk gently cradling your cryptocurrency account, whispering bedtime stories about compliance and trust.

America’s Stablecoin Waltz—No Medals For Grace

Legend will tell of this day: the digital asset industry, less an industry and more a sprawling bazaar, spending a paltry $250 million on the 2024 election—a mere trifle, or perhaps a reasonable fee for unlocking Congress’s collective crypto-enthusiasm. One could hardly blame them; who among us hasn’t tried to buy political affection with the spare change under the couch?

The bill now crawls toward the Republican-controlled House, a place where bills and ideals alike are often lost between the sofa cushions. Another bill, STABLE, looms in the background. It’s rivalrous, like two distant relatives fighting over a family recipe that probably just needs more dill.

Still, Senate passage marks a point of no return, not only for the pixels that make up stablecoins, but for all those in Washington who suddenly know how to pronounce “blockchain.”

The GENIUS Act—its name suggesting perhaps more swagger than sense—insists upon: full reserve backing (no IOUs stuffed in desk drawers), monthly audits (accountants everywhere rejoice), and rigorous anti-money laundering rituals. Poetry, really, if you let it sink in.

New doors swing open: banks, fintechs, retailers—anyone with a briefcase and an appetite—may launch stablecoins. By next Tuesday, your favorite grocery could be offering 2-for-1 avocados and its own digital currency. đŸ„‘đŸ’ž

Bipartisanship: An Unlikely Creature

Scott Bessent, Treasury Secretary, future czar of regulations, recently murmured in a Senate hearing that stablecoins in America might swell to $2 trillion, just as soon as someone convinces Aunt Marjorie what “digital wallet” actually means.

As with all good bureaucratic operas, what was supposed to be simple became labyrinthine. The bill languished, perhaps out of pique, before it found its way to the Senate floor, where dusty policy dreams go to nap.

Senator Cynthia Lummis, wide-eyed, admitted, “I had no idea how hard this was going to be,” which—between sips of Senate coffee—could be the motto for all modern American legislation.

Senator Bill Hagerty, earnest as a clergyman, bemoaned the delicate art of bipartisan seduction, especially among the 18 Senate Democrats who, after much hand-wringing, finally relented and joined the chorus.

Read More

2025-06-18 01:46