You Won't Believe What Happened to Bitcoin! 🤯

In a turn of events that would make even the most seasoned hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy author chuckle, the world of cryptocurrency has been thrown into a veritable whirlwind of chaos. 🤖

According to the on-chain options market on Derive.xyz, the probability of Bitcoin (BTC) plummeting to a mere $75,000 by the end of March has doubled in a single week. 😱

But fear not, dear reader, for this is merely the calm before the storm. As the great Douglas Adams once said, “Don’t panic!” 🚀

The culprit behind this potential crypto-apocalypse? None other than the one and only Donald Trump, whose latest tariff war has sent shockwaves through the global economy, making it harder for central banks to cut interest rates. 🤯

But wait, there’s more! According to Bitwise’s Andre Dragosch, these tariffs are “sending shock waves via USD strength & contraction in global money supply.” 💸

And if that wasn’t enough, Bitcoin has already dropped a whopping 11% to $93,700 in just four days, with Ethereum (ETH) following suit and plummeting below $2,200. 😓

But fear not, dear friends, for the future is not all doom and gloom. As Derive.xyz points out, there’s a glimmer of hope on the horizon, with major players like Bitwise and Grayscale filing for spot ETFs on assets like DOGE, SOL, XRP, and LTC. 🚀

And let’s not forget the ever-reliable Fed, who, according to Bitwise’s Dragosch, will eventually “need to reignite QE to curb the Dollar from rising further and to stop a continued tightening in financial conditions & deceleration in global growth.” 💰

So, dear friends, buckle up and get ready for the ride of a lifetime. Who knows what other cosmic shenanigans the universe has in store for us? 🤖

2025-02-03 07:57

You Won’t Believe What Happened to Bitcoin! 🤯

Read More