You Won’t Believe What Britain Just Did To Crypto Lovers (Hint: Credit Cards Beware!)

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If you were contemplating a thrilling evening spent maxing out your credit card on Bitcoin, Britain has just skipped onto the stage, clutching a pot of lukewarm tea and saying, “That’s quite enough of that, thank you.” 🍵

Per a new dispatch from Reuters (who, rather heroically, manage to sound both urgent and weary), the intrepid crew at the Financial Conduct Authority (let’s call them the FCA—makes them sound more like a band, doesn’t it?) aim to keep “bad actors” at bay. Of course, if you happen to be a good actor, or simply mediocre, fret not: your cryptocurrency dreams may yet survive! 🎭

“We are considering a range of restrictions, including restricting the use of credit cards to directly buy cryptoassets, and using a credit line provided by an e-money firm to do so.” (Translation: “We’ve lost track of the plot and would quite like a breather.”)

Bizarrely, this doesn’t mean they’ll be swooping in on everyone buying stablecoins—it seems the FCA draws the line at volatility, possibly for the sake of their own blood pressure. Stablecoins by credit card? Go right ahead! But Bitcoin? Kindly step away from the revolving door of debt, sir. 🚪

Of course, no government bulletin is complete without an icy reminder: if you’re tossing your coins at crypto, be prepared to lose it all. Or maybe just most of it, depending on how lucky you’ve been feeling lately.

If you think the fun stops there, earlier this year the FCA took out a metaphorical bazooka and blasted half the country’s crypto ads off the airwaves. Apparently, this is “good progress,” though it’s likely the online scam artists now have even more time for their yoga classes. 🧘‍♂️

“Many social media sites have now banned paid-for adverts for UK financial services from non-FCA authorized firms, and we continue to [take] action against those we find breaching our rules.” (One imagines the FCA as an exasperated but determined substitute teacher, confiscating slingshots and threatening detention.)

Earlier in the saga, while fishing for feedback in February, David Geale—clearly someone who’s read the terms and conditions—remarked:

“Crypto is a growing industry. Currently largely unregulated, we want to create a crypto regime that gives firms the clarity they need to safely innovate, while delivering appropriate levels of market integrity and consumer protection.”

Which is, all things considered, British for: “We haven’t the foggiest what’s going on in cryptoland, but we’ll jolly well write some rules while we figure it out.”

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2025-05-02 21:46