- In a move that would make even Scrooge McDuck faint with envy, Thumzup Media has embraced Bitcoin as its treasury reserve, mimicking Strategy—presumably because “Strategy” sounds so much less desperate than “gamble.” 🪙
- Intent on making Wall Street gossip spicier, the company aspires to offload common stock, preferred stock, and the ever-mysterious “warrant units,” all to deepen its affection for shiny pixelated coins.
Thumzup Media Corporation (NASDAQ: TZUP), a Los Angeles SaaS darling obsessed with social marketing, has flung open the famed Form S-3 at the SEC’s doorstep, seeking a piquant infusion of up to $200 million. The plan: launch one or more dazzling offerings of common stock, preferred stock, warrants, or (because too much is never enough) everything at once, like a tipsy gambler in Vegas.
“Unless otherwise indicated in a prospectus supplement, we intend to use the net proceeds from the sale of securities under this prospectus for general corporate purposes, including for the purchase of Bitcoin as our primary reserve asset,” the company declared—undoubtedly while sitting atop a pile of virtual coins and sipping digital champagne.
Having already accumulated approximately 29 BTCs—because what else is one to collect in 2024?—Thumzup now dreams of hoarding up to 90 percent of its surplus in Bitcoin. Their ambition? To sashay into the elite group of the top 70 publicly traded Bitcoin hoarders. Somewhere, legendary misers are nodding in appreciation.
Impact on Bitcoin Price Action
Per the soothsayers at BitcoinTreasuries, around 190 entities (led by public companies and possibly a few aspiring Bond villains) now clutch more than 3.26 million BTCs. Not to be outdone, entire nation-states have rushed in, thus turbocharging institutional FOMO. High inflation, macroeconomic woes, and a universal dislike of fiat have combined for a rollicking adoption party. 🎉
If the charts are to be believed (and why wouldn’t one trust lines on a graph?), Bitcoin is poised to frolic alongside M2 money supply and gold, soaring parabolically—ideally to a new all-time high before mid-2025. Technicians are already quivering with excitement. 📈
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2025-05-03 01:29