You Won’t Believe How Much Bitcoin This Company Bought (and How Much Debts They’re Piling Up 😅)

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The estimable men and women of Strategy, never content to do anything by halves (nor even by moderately extravagant quarters), have exhibited their usual verve by acquiring a further 13,390 Bitcoin for the rather immodest sum of $1.34 billion. Mr. Saylor—one becomes quite fatigued merely beholding his perpetual announcements—reports they parted with an average of $99,856 apiece for these digital curiosities. The result? A collection now comprising 568,840 Bitcoin. One need hardly be a mathematician trained at Oxford to see that this legendary hoarding now accounts for roughly 2.7% of the 21 million to ever exist. My, what would the neighbours say?

Major Bitcoin Buy At Nearly 100K

To the astonishment of absolutely no one, the latest extravagance took place with the coin perched just below the vaunted $100,000 threshold. Strategy parted with $1.34 billion, presumably provoking the sort of heart palpitations in bankers that are usually the result of strenuous country walks. This is, it should be noted, not a new hobby: on the fifth of May, they paid $95,167 per coin and only the week before, they purchased even more at $92,737. In matters of timing, their subtlety is not unlike an elephant attempting a minuet.

Average Cost On The Rise

Their average cost, having enjoyed a more modest existence at $68,550, has grown up and left home for $69,287. This pleases no one—except perhaps the sellers. Mr. Peter Schiff, a gentleman whose fondness for gold would make Midas blush, has opined, with all the subtlety of a raincloud at a picnic, that their average may soon crest $70,000. Should the capricious Bitcoin ever fall as low as their cost basis, what a spectacle we will have: accountants with the vapours and Mr. Saylor forced to tweet in verse to keep up appearances.

Strategy has acquired 13,390 BTC for ~$1.34 billion at ~$99,856 per bitcoin and has achieved BTC Yield of 15.5% YTD 2025. As of 5/11/2025, we hodl 568,840 $BTC acquired for ~$39.41 billion at ~$69,287 per bitcoin. $MSTR $STRK $STRF

— Michael Saylor (@saylor) May 12, 2025

Quick Returns On Recent Buys

Strategy trumpets a Bitcoin “yield” of 15.5% for the year, a number as certain as Aunt Catherine’s opinion of country dances. It transpires this “yield” is nothing more than the difference between what they paid and what others would gladly pay now. For example: their May 5th gambit earned $16.8 million in a mere six days, more than most vicars might see in a lifetime. Their April 28th acquisition sports a profit of $177.1 million, which must surely bring solace during particularly dull shareholder meetings. Even the less ambitious April 14th portion—a modest 3,459 BTC—somehow amassed $74 million in gain, proving that a little folly is better than a great deal of prudence.


Debt Risks And Market Weight

It cannot escape notice, except by those in a dead faint, that much of this grand purchase was made not with heirlooms or family silver, but—heavens—with debt! This, presumably, spices up the experience somewhat. The company has now exchanged $39.41 billion for more Bitcoin than one could fit in the dower chests of Pemberley. Presently, their hoard is worth $59.2 billion, equal to about $19.8 billion in profit—at least until fortune, that fickle companion, reverses her affections.

Finally, one should acknowledge that with each acquisition, Strategy removes a considerable sum from the public eye, much like Lady Catherine removing the best biscuits from the tea tray. There are those who insist this tightens supply and buoys prices, while skeptics warn that, should ardour for Bitcoin falter, even the grandest lords must someday join the great unwashed in the panic to the exit. 🤷‍♂️📉

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2025-05-13 10:34