Why Litecoin and Solana Dance at the ETF Ball While DOGE Brings Up the Rear 🕺💃

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In the glittering salons of cryptomania, the scene is set for another charmingly absurd performance: the ETF race. Our analysts du jour, Messrs. Seyffart and Balchunas of Bloomberg—gentlemen whose expertise is only matched by their patience for regulatory drama—have donned their speculative monocles to chart the odds. According to these oracles, Litecoin and Solana sweep across the dance floor with the poise of born commodities, while the likes of XRP, Dogecoin, and Cardano trip over their own digital feet, much to the amusement of the assembled onlookers.

Both Litecoin and Solana, lauded for resembling commodities (though not nearly as sparkly as diamonds or witty as a Wilde epigram), twirl with a near-inevitable 90% approval waltz. The SEC and CFTC, those eternal gatekeepers of speculative dreams, seem utterly enchanted.

Litecoin and Solana ETF Odds Lead with 90% Chance

One Mr. Balchunas, a figure who no doubt favours both charts and dry martinis, has posted on X (formerly known as the only place you can be wrong in public and get paid for it), revealing Solana and Litecoin ETFs pirouetting with that enviable 90% chance. XRP, dapper but slightly disheveled, manages an 85% chance—close, but no moonshine.

Dogecoin, the party crasher of cryptocurrencies, brings its 80% chance; Cardano follows behind at 75%, both supported by the fashionable trio: Polkadot, HBAR, and Avalanche—each managing approval odds as if collecting spare change at a high-society soirée.

With all the subtlety of a telegram from the 19th century, Balchunas declared: “Would love to hear directly from Atkins, but all good chance of happening.” Atkins, the SEC’s resident crypto enthusiast, is presumably busy composing odes to decentralization or selecting the right waistcoat for the next committee.

The SEC’s sudden flirtation with crypto products has the entire community breathlessly expecting imminent engagement announcements. Society pages, take note!

When Will the US SEC Approve Altcoin Investment Products?

Along with these titillating approval odds, our analysts have graced us with projections as reliable as a fortune cookie: expect the big reveal in Q4 of 2025—or, for the impatient, possibly sooner, if Jupiter aligns with Mars and the SEC discovers a fondness for punctuality.

The regulatory process, as anyone who’s ever waited for a bureaucrat to sign anything knows, proceeds at the speed of an elderly aristocrat descending a staircase. Mr. Seyffart kindly reminds us of the agonies endured over Bitcoin and Ethereum’s own long-in-the-tooth ETFs. He notes delays for Ethereum staking ETFs and Dogecoin spot ETFs, as if time means nothing but an excuse for more speculation. The ultimate deadlines? October 2025, if the stars (and lawyers) are willing.

And lest one become too giddy, rumors of XRP ETF launches by April 30 were dashed by our ever-delightful Seyffart, who assures us that hope, like fashion, is best viewed skeptically.

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2025-04-30 13:43