Why Bitcoin’s Price is Like a Bad Joke: You Won’t Believe What Happens Next! 😂

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Ah, the crypto markets, those capricious realms where fortunes are made and lost with the flick of a digital coin! Last week, the White House, in its infinite wisdom, decided to drop a bombshell regarding a strategic Bitcoin reserve, and lo and behold, the markets reacted with the enthusiasm of a cat being bathed.

Even the illustrious Trump, with his sage advice to “never sell your Bitcoin” at the Friday crypto summit, could not resurrect the beleaguered asset from its grave, which languished below the exalted threshold of $90,000. Instead, it succumbed to the weekend’s malaise, like a weary traveler seeking solace in a bottle of vodka. 🍸

This week, the markets brace themselves for the onslaught of key inflation reports, which, if hotter than expected, could send shivers down the spines of risk-on assets, including our dear stocks and crypto. The anticipation is palpable, akin to waiting for a train that may never arrive.

Economic Events March 10 to 14

On Wednesday, the Core CPI data for February will be unveiled, a harbinger of economic trends that shapes consumer spending and, by extension, the Fed’s policy decisions. One cannot help but wonder if the Consumer Price Index is merely a cruel joke played by the universe on unsuspecting investors.

History, that relentless teacher, reminds us that Bitcoin’s price plummeted following higher-than-expected CPI figures in February. Will we witness a tragic repetition of this farce? Only time will tell, but the specter of a hot CPI print looms ominously, ready to scare the market like a ghost at a family reunion. 👻

“A hot CPI print will likely scare the market,” mused Bryant VanCronkhite, a senior portfolio manager at Allspring Global Investments, as if he were predicting the weather. “The market still wants the Fed to come to the rescue… Until inflation and inflation expectations come down, the Fed is handcuffed,” he lamented, as if the Fed were a hapless hero in a tragic play.

Following this, Thursday will bring the PPI (Producer Price Index) report, a reflection of input prices for producers and manufacturers. This data, much like a bad haircut, is hard to ignore and directly affects retail pricing, serving as a signal of inflationary pressures that seem to be tightening their grip on the economy.

US inflation has been on a relentless rise since September, hitting 3% last month, and the trend appears to be as stubborn as a mule. The CPI for February is expected to climb by 0.3%, according to a Reuters poll, leaving us all to ponder the futility of our financial aspirations.

These reports will be among the last key pieces of data before the Federal Reserve meets on March 18 and 19, where it is expected to hold its benchmark rate steady at 4.25% to 4.5%. A thrilling spectacle, indeed!

Key Events This Week:

1. January JOLTS Job Openings data – Tuesday

2. EIA Short-Term Energy Outlook – Tuesday

3. February CPI Inflation data – Wednesday

4. Initial Jobless Claims data – Thursday

5. February PPI Inflation data – Thursday

6. MI Consumer Sentiment data -…

— The Kobeissi Letter (@KobeissiLetter) March 9, 2025

On Friday, a preliminary consumer sentiment analysis will grace us with its presence, offering further insight into the inflation expectations of the beleaguered consumer. Meanwhile, job openings and jobless claims reports will also emerge, shedding light on the ever-changing labor market trends, which seem to be as unpredictable as a cat on a hot tin roof.

Crypto Market Outlook

As we gaze into the abyss of the crypto markets, we find them weakening, with total capitalization plummeting by 6.5% in a dramatic fall to $2.8 trillion. Bitcoin, that once-mighty titan, has slumped 4.5%, barely clinging to life at just over $80,000 in early trading in Asia on Monday morning. A slight recovery to $82,000 has occurred, but it remains down more than 11% since this time last week, like a once-great athlete now reduced to a mere shadow of their former self.

Ethereum, as is

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2025-03-10 11:00