Which Chilly Bobbed Blonde Would Win in a Fight?

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As a movie enthusiast, today’s double whammy of sequel trailers was nothing short of spectacular! Accompanied by two captivating posters that feature a cryptic icy blonde posing on a staircase, surrounded by a mesmerizing mosaic of familiar faces. One of these masterpieces is for the second season of Hulu’s adaptation of Liane Moriarty’s work, Nine Perfect Strangers, beating the rumored punch of The White Lotus by setting its luxury resort-centered mystery in the Alps. Starring none other than Nicole Kidman!

The other poster unveils the third installment of the Jesse Eisenberg-led ensemble about flashy magicians pulling off intricate heists, Now You See Me, Now You Don’t. In this captivating artwork, Rosamund Pike takes center stage as a new villain in the franchise, portrayed upside down like an unnatural vampire.

To share the excitement of these stunning promo artworks, we decided to engage them in a conversation, and what a silly one it was! So, let’s indulge ourselves with a little fantasy: if these formidable women and their ensembles were to engage in an Avengers: Infinity War -style battle, who would come out on top? The suspense is killing us!

Background

In the series “Nine Perfect Strangers” season one, Nicole Kidman portrays Masha Dmitrichenko, a secretive Russian spiritual leader who conducts exclusive ‘wellness’ retreats for affluent individuals, often starring renowned actors. At these retreats, she employs unconventional methods to assist participants in overcoming emotional wounds, which include administering psychedelics and leading unusual exercises. While marketed as a sanctuary, the retreat subtly traps attendees, and her techniques border on psychological manipulation. As we discovered in season one, Masha has weaknesses that can be exploited, causing her to relocate her California wellness center to the Alps for season two.

Pike portrays Veronika Vanderberg, a member of a wicked European aristocratic family that illicitly accumulates wealth by selling diamonds to warlords, weapons dealers, and traffickers of various kinds. Veronika is an enigmatic figure with seemingly unending financial resources. She maintains a competitive advantage in her operations.

Winner: Pike

Abilities

Masha seems exceptionally skillful at swaying others, almost as if she possesses uncanny abilities. In the season two teaser, it looks like she can cause her visitors to re-experience distressing events from their pasts, with chilling precision. Rumor has it that this ability mirrors that of the antagonist in Marvel’s fresh release, Thunderbolts*.

Veronika Vanderberg boasts vast financial resources and security personnel, as seen in the trailer where she’s seen fleeing in a sparkling silver cape, shouting “Halt him!” to her guards, but the individual in question, Jesse Eisenberg, continues unchecked. Additionally, she owns an enormous diamond that could potentially have mystical abilities, reminiscent of a Chaos Emerald.

In this rephrased version, the focus remains on the key points while maintaining a conversational and easy-to-understand tone.

Winner: Kidman

Pose

In their individual posters, the poses of Kidman and Pike hint at how they might handle a real-life encounter with a kaiju. Nicole Kidman appears intense, her gaze piercing yet masking a hidden madness beneath. On the contrary, Veronika Pike seems more composed, appearing less emotionally unstable, with her legs spread apart, suggesting an effective fighting stance. Interestingly, Kidman keeps both hands tucked away in her pockets, potentially holding weapons, while Pike has one hand concealed and the other already poised for combat.

Pike, however, stands out remarkably because she’s positioned in an unusual way – she seems to be defying gravity with her head pointed downwards on her poster. She’s the only figure in this orientation, and it gives the impression of a bat hanging upside-down, adding a unique twist that is hard to match.

Winner: Pike

Team

In Kidman’s group, there are eleven members, including nine new faces, one menacing-looking stuffed bear, and one other notable individual. Among the unknowns, Christine Baranski is present, wearing furry boots and wielding a cane that could be quite formidable. Mark Strong stands in the back, serving as the group’s muscle. King Princess, with her abilities in lesbianism and transitioning from music to television, is also part of the team. Murray Bartlett wears a loud cardigan, while Henry Golding seems perplexed about his presence.

Pike is suspended upside-down, resembling an overturned chandelier, and he possesses a Pokémon of electric type and can navigate the Pink Opaque; Eisenberg brandishes a deck of cards, hinting at perhaps gaming abilities; Morgan Freeman and Woody Harrelson conceal their tricks within their hats; Dominic Sessa, our exceptional newcomer, boasts additional height. Notably, these individuals are experts in illusion, while the others grapple with delusion.

(This version maintains the original’s style, clarity, and flow while making it slightly more engaging and easier to read.)

Winner: Pike

Stairs

This confrontation is proving to be quite challenging for both parties. If one character needs to ascend the other’s staircases to claim victory in a boss fight, they will encounter distinct obstacles. The steps leading to Kidman are enveloped in fog, coated with ice, appear steep, and have treacherous mushrooms growing from the railings. On the contrary, Pike’s stairs resemble an optical illusion by M.C. Escher, filled with vertical drop-offs and impractical turns. Additionally: Rosamund Pike is seemingly upside down. Fewer hazards exist on these staircases as they reside in a sterile, digitally manipulated environment?

Winner: Pike

Bob

Though Pike is well-known for her bob hairstyle, here it extends slightly beyond her shoulders. Clear as day classification.

Winner: Kidman

Best Villain

Kudos to you, Rosamund Pike, as Veronika Vanderberg! You’ve triumphed in the poster contest. However, can you conquer Jesse Eisenberg’s card tricks? We’ll see in cinemas this coming November.

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2025-04-30 01:54