Ukraine Goes Full Bitcoin: Did They Just Out-Hodl America?

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  • Ukraine, in the middle of digital fever and actual war, plans Europe’s first Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. (Yes, really.)
  • Crypto adoption: Ukraine is running laps around the likes of the UK, Russia, and South Korea. Eat your heart out, London.

While the United States ponders and plans, debating Bitcoin reserves like a family at Thanksgiving arguing about who should do the dishes, other countries are already scraping the bottom of the crypto casserole. They’re getting ahead. They’re getting messy. Folks, they’re not waiting for the gravy boat.

Ukraine Buckles In For the Bitcoin Wild Ride

Ukraine, battered, determined, and apparently unfazed by mere trifles such as war and geopolitics, is set to pull a fast one on the rest of Europe. Their lawmakers, including one Yaroslav Zhelezniak—whose title is longer than a Russian winter and nearly as cold—are poised to pitch a big, beautiful Bitcoin Reserve bill. Just Bitcoin, mind you. Ukraine is passing on Dogecoin memes, for now.

The entire operation has Binance lurking in the corner like someone at a town dance who wants to cut in but hasn’t quite found the right moment. Meanwhile, Switzerland, because of course Switzerland, is also showing interest. What does this all mean? The world is starting to treat Bitcoin like it’s the new gold and they’re prepping for some digital gold fever. Prospector hats not included, but one can hope. 🤠

The man himself, Zhelezniak, even said—

“We will soon submit a draft law from the industry allowing the creation of crypto reserve.”
Translation: Congress is about to get a lot more confusing.

Binance’s Kirill Khomyakov wants everyone to know,

“It’ll take ages and require a scavenger hunt through the law books—but hey, at least things might get less weird when it comes to crypto rules in Ukraine.”

Ukraine’s Road Trip on the Crypto Highway

Despite everything—the bombs, the sanctions, the heartbreak—Ukraine is swerving into crypto like a Lada with new tires. Chainalysis says they’re 6th in the world for crypto adoption. That’s ahead of Russia, ahead of the United Kingdom, and miles ahead of anyone who still thinks “altcoin” is a new energy drink.

Since everything went sideways in 2022, Ukraine used crypto to crowdfund over $100 million. To put that in perspective, that’s enough to buy a lot of borscht. More importantly, blockchain turned out to be good for something other than buying apes with sunglasses.

The government has legalized crypto, started dabbling in central bank digital currencies, and is actively shaping the next generation of financial weirdness—DeFi, NFTs, you name it—all while half the world is still trying to Google what “Web3” even means. 🚀

America’s Fifty Shades of Crypto Commitment

Meanwhile, over in the US, some states are working together like a well-oiled machine. Except the oil is confusion and the machine is those wind-up monkeys that drop their cymbals. Florida, Montana, and South Dakota slammed the brakes, refusing to play ball with the feds. Texas, New Hampshire, and Arizona, on the other hand, are throwing on their cowboy hats and charging ahead.

At the end of the day, Bitcoin is still doing what Bitcoin does best—being unpredictable and slightly smug. Sitting pretty at over $102,000 (and rising like your neighbor’s sourdough starter), it’s not waiting for governments to catch up.

So, as the world’s leaders scratch their heads and try to decipher which crypto meme to legislate next, Ukraine is busy proving you don’t have to wait for permission to dance when the music’s already playing. 🕺

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2025-05-15 13:15