Trump’s Wealth Fund: Will Uncle Sam Go Crypto? 🤔💰

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On the third day of February, in the year of our discontent, President Trump, with the flourish of a magician revealing his final trick, proclaimed the birth of a US sovereign wealth fund. This grand investment vehicle, he declared, would be the golden chariot carrying the wealth of the nation to its citizens, or at least to those who can afford a ticket. 🎩✨

With a pen that seemed to glow with the light of a thousand suns, Trump signed an executive order at a White House gathering, summoning Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick—two men whose hearts beat in rhythm with the crypto drum—to embark on a journey that might just lead to the creation of this elusive fund. “We’re going to create a lot of wealth for the fund,” he proclaimed, as if wealth were a garden that could be cultivated with a mere wave of his hand. “And I think it’s about time that this country had a sovereign wealth fund,” he added, as if the nation had been waiting with bated breath for this moment. 🌱💸

Bessent, with the enthusiasm of a child on Christmas morning, elaborated that the fund would be a mélange of liquid assets, a veritable buffet of riches that the nation possesses, all to be served up for the American people. “We’ll have it set up within the next 12 months,” he assured, as if time were a mere suggestion rather than a relentless march forward. ⏳

Bitcoin Backing?

But wait! Could this fund, this beacon of hope, be used to snatch up strategic assets? Perhaps a hostile takeover of TikTok, the social media darling of the youth? Lutnick hinted at such possibilities, suggesting that the vast purchasing power of the US government could be wielded like a sword in the marketplace, slicing through the competition to gain equity in companies. “The extraordinary size and scale of the U.S. government and the business it does with companies … should create value for American citizens,” he mused, as if the mere act of existence were enough to conjure wealth from thin air. 🗡️💼

In a moment of serendipity, Wyoming Senator Cynthia Lummis, with a twinkle in her eye, hinted that this fund could very well be the vehicle to acquire Bitcoin. “This is a ₿ig deal,” she tweeted, as if the world needed reminding that the digital gold rush was still very much alive. 💎

“The US will buy Bitcoin.”

“Trump just announced the creation of a US Sovereign Wealth Fund.”

“It will be headed by Secretary of Commerce @howardlutnick and Treasury Secretary @ScottBessent528. Both like Bitcoin.”

“I’d say there’s a 100% probability they buy Bitcoin.”

— Wayne Vaughan (@WayneVaughan) February 3, 2025

Yet, if this fund were to embrace the digital currency, it would likely be with the Bitcoin already nestled in the US coffers, rather than a fresh purchase. According to Blockchain.com, an address owned by the FBI, linked to the infamous Silk Road seizures, still clutches 69,370 BTC, a treasure worth around $6.8 billion. The total US holdings exceed 207,000 BTC, a staggering sum that could make even the most hardened cynic raise an eyebrow. 💰

BTC Price Recovers

Meanwhile, in the chaotic realm of crypto markets, a glimmer of hope emerged as BTC clawed its way back to $102,000, only to retreat like a shy child at a school dance, settling around $99,000 as the dust began to settle. AI and real-world asset tokenization altcoins surged like a caffeinated rabbit, while Ethereum, despite a nod from Eric Trump, remained as lackluster as a soggy biscuit, failing to breach the $3,000 mark. 🐇📉

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2025-02-04 09:48