Trump’s Tariff Blunder Sends Bitcoin Plummeting Below $85,000! 😂

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Well, folks, buckle up, because things just took a nosedive! After Donald Trump announced some lovely new tariffs on basically every country under the sun, Bitcoin’s price did the thing we all love to watch: it plummeted. I mean, who could’ve guessed that a trade war would *maybe* ruffle some feathers in the world of digital currency, right? Bitcoin fell to a chilly $84,400. Ouch! 😬

As we sit here sipping our overpriced lattes, Bitcoin is now worth around $84,600. That’s a fun little 3% drop in the past hour. It’s almost like watching a car crash in slow motion, except it’s a $1.68 trillion market crashing instead of a car! Oh, and let’s not forget about the 24-hour trading volume of $41.88 billion… because who needs sleep when you’re losing that much money every minute?

And it’s not just Bitcoin. Oh no, the entire crypto market has joined in on the misery, with the market cap falling by a thrilling 1.25%, now sitting at $2.71 trillion. It’s almost like the market is throwing a tantrum because… wait for it… there’s a teeny bit of uncertainty in the global economy. Shocking! 😱

Now, investors are watching this like hawks. They’re wondering if they should just sell everything and go back to gold… or maybe they should try hugging their computer screens and hope for a rebound. Who knows? One thing’s for sure: Bitcoin, that so-called “safe haven,” is apparently just as fragile as your aunt’s wedding china.

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2025-04-03 00:51