Trump’s Bitcoin Fund: The Most Unexpected Investment of the Year! šŸ’°šŸ˜‚

On the sixth day of February, in the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty-five, the Trump Media and Technology Group (TMTG)ā€”a jolly little enterprise with the former President himself holding the majority stakeā€”decided to dip its toes into the murky waters of cryptocurrency. They filed for trademarks under their fintech brand, Truth.Fi, which sounds suspiciously like a slogan for a particularly earnest breakfast cereal.

Now, what do they have in store, you ask? Well, dear reader, brace yourself for a trio of investment vehicles that would make even the most seasoned financier raise an eyebrow. First up, we have the ā€œMade in Americaā€ exchange-traded fund, which presumably invests in all things red, white, and blue. Next, thereā€™s the ā€œUS Energy Independenceā€ ETF, because who doesnā€™t want to feel like a cowboy riding off into the sunset of energy autonomy? And last but not least, the piĆØce de rĆ©sistance: the ā€œBitcoin Plusā€ ETF, which, if Iā€™m not mistaken, sounds like a fast-food combo meal that comes with extra fries. šŸŸ

ā€œSafe to say first-ever POTUS ETF issuer. What a country,ā€ exclaimed Bloomberg ETF analyst Eric Balchunas, who clearly has a flair for the dramatic.

Trump is going to launch a Bitcoin Plus ETF. Safe to say first-ever POTUS ETF issuer. What a country..

ā€” Eric Balchunas (@EricBalchunas) February 6, 2025

Trump to Become an ETF Issuer

The grand plan involves a staggering $250 million, which will be custodied by none other than Charles Schwab, while Yorkville Advisors will be playing the role of the wise old owl, guiding the ship through these choppy financial seas. TMTGā€™s CEO, Devin Nunes, has declared these funds to be a beacon of hope against what he calls ā€œwoke funds.ā€ One can only imagine what a ā€œwoke fundā€ might invest inā€”perhaps organic kale and artisanal soap?

ā€œWe aim to give investors a means to invest in American energy, manufacturing, and other firms that provide a competitive alternative to the woke funds and debanking problems that you find throughout the market,ā€ Nunes proclaimed, sounding like a man whoā€™s just discovered the joys of a good cup of coffee.

ā€œWeā€™re exploring a range of ways to differentiate our products, including strategies related to Bitcoin,ā€ he added, as if Bitcoin were a new flavor of ice cream.

However, letā€™s not get too carried away. Despite Trumpā€™s illustrious brand, these funds are likely to gather assets at a rate comparable to a tortoise in a marathon, especially when stacked against the likes of IBIT and FBTC. But, as Balchunas sagely noted, the mere act of launching such a fund adds to the ā€œmainstreamificationā€ narrative, which is apparently all the rage these days.

As of the end of the year, TMTG boasted over $700 million in cash or equivalents, plus the aforementioned $250 million custody arrangement. Following the announcement, the companyā€™s stock (DJT) saw a modest rise of about 5.6%, which is about as exciting as watching paint dry, but hey, itā€™s something!

Yet, in a twist worthy of a Shakespearean comedy, Bitcoin and the crypto markets were still in retreat as the week drew to a close. Trumpā€™s son Eric, ever the optimist, declared it ā€œa great time to enter BTC,ā€ but alas, the market seemed to have other plans.

Trump Meme Takes a Hit

TRUMP is now down a staggering 76% from its all-time high of $73, which was just three weeks ago. It appears that meme coins are experiencing a rather unfortunate bout of indigestion in the broader market retreat.

Meanwhile, Bitcoin markets were as lively as a sloth on a Sunday afternoon, with the asset dipping to an intraday low of $95,800 before managing a marginal recovery to $97,000 during Friday morning trading in Asia. Talk about a rollercoaster ride!

To add to the drama, spot BTC ETFs in the US were also feeling the pinch, with an outflow of

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2025-02-07 09:53