Trump Pauses Tariffs, Stocks Soar, Crypto Shrugs – A Lesson in Market Mayhem

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Ah, what a day to be alive. Following President Donald Trump’s surprise announcement to press “pause” on tariffs for a mere 90 days, the U.S. stock market shot up like a rocket, adding a mind-boggling $3.5 trillion in a single day. To put that in perspective, that’s roughly equivalent to the entire crypto market cap at its brief and glorious peak in late 2024. Yes, you read that right. If you blinked, you missed the miracle.

But wait, it gets better! While global markets trembled (because who doesn’t love a good trade war drama?), the crypto crowd was buzzing with optimism, thinking that Bitcoin’s 6.5% spike and its new $82,000 price tag were signs of something, well… not entirely tragic. The broader crypto market cap, too, saw a 7% boost – proof that even a broken clock can be right twice a day.

The S&P 500, that old barometer of American economic glory, surged by 5.8%, one of its largest daily gains since 1923. The index jumped from 4,948.43 to 5,451.96, as noted by the all-knowing sages at Marketwatch. Never mind that the number itself is more of a riddle than an achievement; it looks impressive, doesn’t it?

Meanwhile, a stunning heatmap from Watcher.Guru on X showed a glorious sea of green. Tech giants like NVIDIA, Apple, Microsoft, and Google had a field day, with gains of 13.56%, 11.50%, 8.23%, and 7.11%, respectively. If this were an Oscar night, those four would be the undisputed winners, with every other sector merely trying to secure a decent seat in the back.

JUST IN: 🇺🇸 Over $3.5 trillion added to the US stock market following 90-day tariff pause.

— Watcher.Guru (@WatcherGuru) April 9, 2025

For crypto, though, this $3.5 trillion market surge is a bittersweet reminder of what could have been. At its absolute zenith in December 2024, the crypto market cap briefly flirted with a $3.7 trillion valuation, driven by Bitcoin’s meteoric rise to $100,000. Ah, nostalgia. How we long for those heady days before tariffs and trade wars cast their pall over everything.

Let’s not ignore the fact that Trump’s earlier tariff threats caused Bitcoin to plummet below $75,000 earlier this week. That sharp drop was a stark reminder of the fragility of the crypto space – as if we needed another lesson on how easily it can be rattled by the whims of geopolitics. Trump may claim to support crypto, but clearly, it’s a little more complicated than that.

As the world continues to absorb the latest shockwaves from Trump’s trade war escalation with China, crypto enthusiasts are left wondering whether they, too, might enjoy the same dizzying ride that U.S. stocks are currently experiencing. For now, the surge in stock market cap serves as both a milestone and a reminder of how volatile the marriage between traditional and decentralized finance can be. It’s a match made in chaos, really. Keep your helmets on.

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2025-04-09 23:17