Trump Era Crypto Mania: 8 Firms Rush Back to the US with Grand Promises (and Fines) 🦅💰

Upon a chilly Monday (as if such days were capable of being otherwise), the chaps at Nexo dusted off their bowler hats and announced intentions to re-enter the United States—land of the free, home of the occasionally solvent. They are now the eighth major crypto house to re-embrace American shores since the ever-ebullient President Trump returned to the White House, presumably with matching golden elevator and cryptocurrency wallet.

Circle, Binance, OKX—call them what you will, from doughty pioneers to regulatory masochists—are placing their financial bets on 2025 being a year of forgiving legislation. Congress, currently abuzz with the passage of bills with names straight from comic books (the STABLE Act! the GENIUS Act!), seems poised to usher in a golden era of crypto horseplay, just as soon as they figure out how to use email.

The Trump family have, in their inimitable way, inserted themselves into the digital asset fray. Nexo’s triumphant return was matched, fanfare and all, by Donald Trump Jr. declaring, “We see the opportunity for the financial sector and want to ensure we bring that back to the US.” Whether the financial sector wishes to be “brought back” remains to be seen.

No one is quite sure if the forthcoming regulatory changes will safeguard the wallets of the “average American,” or merely those of the Trumps. But, never mind the details—here are the eight crypto titans wagering their fortunes (and their lawyers’ hourly rates) on the land of hotdogs and infinite subpoenas.

Binance.US Plunges Back In—CZ Contemplates Orange Jumpsuit

Binance.US brusquely resumed USD services, with hardly a month passing since President Trump’s latest inauguration gala. Their former “pause” (rather like a genteel tippler at his fifth brandy), required after the CFTC’s allegations of regulatory dodging, now seems an embarrassing hiccup—except for the small details of a $2.7-billion settlement, a $150-million cash parting for ex-CEO Changpeng Zhao, and the sort of SEC lawsuit that makes even Wall Street’s cockiest sweat through their pinstripes.

By November 2023, Binance and its gallant leader CZ had gracefully agreed to plead guilty to a smorgasbord of federal charges, pony up $4.3 billion (give or take a Tesla), and see Mr Zhao trade his CEO title for, possibly, a very chic prison number. Rumor has it, CZ is now waiting on presidential clemency—Trump has shown a soft spot for beset crypto magnates, provided they remember to flatter his tie.

eToro: IPO Dreams and SEC Nightmares

eToro, online marketplace for those who take financial advice from strangers on the internet, has set its sights on a glitzy Nasdaq debut under the cryptic ticker “ETOR.” The $4-billion valuation is perhaps a modest ask, given its previous brush with the SEC, which accused eToro of playing dress-up as an unregistered exchange—something akin to showing up at Buckingham Palace in one’s pajamas.

For its sins, eToro paid its fine, snipped back its crypto menu for American clientele, and now only offers the most socially acceptable digital assets—Bitcoin, Bitcoin Cash, and Ethereum. An unmistakable sign that, in 2025 America, the one thing more regulated than trading crypto is ordering a decent martini.

OKX: Back in the US, Armed with Consultants (and Fines)

April 2025, and OKX, global purveyor of complicated dashboards and more tokens than tea in Cornwall, strutted back into the US market, now headquartered in charming San Jose, California. New head honcho Roshan Robert (formerly of Barclays, presumably now equipped with a crash helmet) will oversee the relaunch.

This hero’s return follows a $500-million donation (sorry, “fine”) to the US Justice Department, for such egregious crimes as not catching the occasional wayward launderer and generally failing to behave like a Swiss banker. External compliance consultants will henceforth make sure OKX can satisfy every American regulatory whim without so much as a squeak.

Robert, to Fortune, sounded almost cheerful: “The rulemaking will take some time, but there is a path that we can see.” Which must be nice for them, as most US tax accountants are still searching for their glasses.

Nexo: America, Round Two 🦸

Nexo is back, announcing its grand American renaissance in Sofia (as all major American comebacks are). After 18 months trapped in regulatory break-up therapy, and awkward chats with eight state attorneys general, Nexo has returned with promises of “strength, intelligence, and determination to win.” One suspects they also have extra lawyers.

Co-founder Antoni Trenchev was effusive: “America is back—and so is Nexo.” Second time’s the charm, apparently.

Circle Moves to NYC: IPOs and Aspirations in Glass Towers

Circle, that pillar of staid stability amidst the rolling crypto tempests, is relocating from Boston’s genteel monotony to the concrete jungle—and altitude—of One World Trade Center in New York. It’s all very symbolic, apparently, and also handy for getting to their soon-to-be IPO underwritten by JPMorgan and Citi. A $5-billion sticker price, and only mild flashbacks to a failed $9-billion SPAC deal in 2022.

CEO Jeremy Allaire waxed lyrical about trust, security, and the possibility of a water cooler conversation involving crypto regulation. One can only hope the new neighbors bring cookies.

Crypto.com: Now with Bonus Stocks! 📈

Crypto.com is rolling out not only more crypto assets but also, for those who like to order the whole financial buffet, stock and ETF trading. Phase by phase, by the end of 2025 you’ll be able to trade a small nation’s worth of assets from your phone, while telling your friends you’re “diversifying.”

Travis McGhee, the firm’s managing director, shared that now one may “marry up stock capability with crypto trading”—a true registry office moment for speculative assets everywhere. McGhee also tipped his hat to the tailwinds of an administration “looking to put a regulatory framework in place”—which sounds reassuring, until you remember what happens to frameworks in the average Congressional debate.

a16z: Exit Britannia, Stage Right 🇬🇧➡️🇺🇸

Andreessen Horowitz, the venture firm so adventurous it opened a London office in the thick of Brexit, has since changed its mind and slipped back to the US. Five years of careful British wooing, and just 18 months in the rain before the English dream faded.

Apparently the UK government, having spent several years attempting to charm a16z, watched it flit away the moment Donald Trump looked favorably on crypto. A16z’s Anthony Albanese lamented the slow UK progress and shifting Labour policies, issuing a polite you-were-lovely-but-I’ve-met-someone-else.

Coinbase Buys Deribit: Because Being Big Just Isn’t Enough

Not content with being the yardstick for American crypto libido, Coinbase snapped up derivatives hotspot Deribit for a neat $2.9 billion. In the grand game of “who can corner the derivatives market,” Coinbase has now appropriated both the bragging rights and the accounting headaches. On announcement day, $10 billion whistled through Coinbase’s international exchange, a sum large enough to pay off most of Congress’s student loans (or perhaps just their lunch tabs).

In conclusion, the crypto industry in 2025 is half Wall Street party, half Kafka novel—replete with soaring valuations, regulatory whiplash, and the occasional presidential cameo. Buckle in, America.

2025-05-11 17:11