Tokyo Hotel Turns Bitcoin Bet into a Comedy of Errors – Who Knew Blockchain Could Be So Absurd?

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If you thought investing in a hotel in Tokyo was enough of a gamble, welcome to the real rollercoaster: Metaplanet Inc., which used to be just a humble hotel operator, has decided to shake things up by throwing its entire fortune into Bitcoin. And not just a little bit-30,823 BTC, to be precise. That’s enough Bitcoin to make even Roger Ver do a double take. According to some guy named Shanaka (whom no one has ever heard of), the company is now sitting on a loss of around $651 million. That’s not a typo. It’s a typo in your favor, if you’re trying to imagine something more cheerful than billions evaporating. Meanwhile, the company is posting record profits-because, sure, nothing says “solid business” like losing hundreds of millions on paper but somehow counting as a win overall. 🤔

Metaplanet’s Bitcoin Treasury Hits a Wall Just as BTC Stalls

On November 25, blogger Shanaka laid out the financial soap opera: Metaplanet bought Bitcoin at an average price of over $108,000, which sounds extravagant until you realize the current price is around $87,500. That’s about one in a series of bad decisions, or at least a really expensive game of “hold my beer.” The unrealized loss? A staggering $651 million. This coincides with the company’s stock plummeting 81% since June-because nothing says “confidence” like a downward spiral. But wait, there’s more: their revenue is skyrocketing-up 1,700%, or so they say, to ¥4.3 billion, with net income at ¥13.5 billion. That’s the magic of accounting, my friend. It’s like printing money and then losing it in a Bitcoin minefield. They’re banking on “reflexivity,” which is just a fancy way of saying that when Bitcoin goes up, they can issue equity and buy more BTC. When it goes down, they pretend it’s all part of the master plan. Spoiler alert: the master plan has a few cracks-and a lot of chaos.

The Art of Raising Capital While Burning the House

Seeing the sinking ship, Metaplanet launched “MERCURY,” a perpetual preferred equity with a 4.9% dividend and a single ¥1,000 conversion price. It’s like trying to patch a leaky boat with duct tape-inevitably, a matter of time before it all floods. Shareholders get to vote come December 22, with roughly ¥21.25 billion hanging in the balance. Could be a bailout, or just a giant gamble with other people’s money. Either way, it’s the financial equivalent of watching a clown car crash, but you’re too polite to look away.

Market’s the Stage, and China’s Watching a Drama Unfold

Meanwhile, Bitcoin’s attempting a comeback-sort of-rising from under $81,000 to the delightful high-$80,000s, which sounds impressive until you remember that whales are still selling, and gains are mostly on paper. Japanese regulators are getting nervous, too. The Tokyo Stock Exchange hints that if companies keep turning their balance sheets into digital asset playgrounds, the rules might get tighter. So much for “responsible” crypto investing, right? The Bank of Japan has raised interest rates to 0.5%, adding a pinch of ‘how is this still happening?’ to the mix. The whole scene is like a bad soap opera set in a financial theme park. Stay tuned for the next episode: will Metaplanet survive the upcoming vote, or is this just another chapter in the great crypto comedy?”

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2025-11-26 21:44