Alas, at long last, the famed Bitcoin hath leapt to $100,000—if only for a fleeting moment, much like a salary on a Friday payday. Euphoric throngs watched as greed gave way to cold profit‑taking, sending the price on a brief stroll back through reality’s sooty corridors.
Why the sudden exuberance? The Federal Reserve, in a rare act of stillness, left interest rates untouched (perhaps the chairman simply forgot). Meanwhile, President Trump, never one to miss a stage, announced new trade sorcery. His tariff tinkering bore fruit with not one, but several countries, and diplomacy hadn’t looked this theatrical since grandma’s birthday toast.
Trump Wields His Trade Pen, the UK Ducks and Signs
Trump, basking in glory, declared the dawn of an Anglo-American trade renaissance—his first successful handshake following a season of tariff wrestling. America and Britain now clasp hands, several other partners lining up for what can only be described as a major diplomatic conga line.
The agreement with the United Kingdom is a full and comprehensive one that will cement the relationship between the United States and the United Kingdom for many years to come. Because of our long time history and allegiance together, it is a great honor to have the United…
— Donald J. Trump Posts From His Truth Social (@TrumpDailyPosts) May 8, 2025
Reuters—who else—bores us with the details: lower duties on steel and autos, and the hope that supply-chain inflation might finally take a nap. Crypto traders, being the delicate creatures they are, sipped from this risk-on champagne and promptly wiped out $492 million in short positions. The squeals could be heard all the way from Wall Street to the basement desks of amateur traders.
The next desperate target is $105,000, with some optimistic bulls fantasizing about $120,000, provided no one trips over the paperwork. If only one could trade resignation and skepticism, Anton Pavlovich himself might be wealthy indeed. 🚀💸
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2025-05-08 19:34