The Valley Recap: Rock Bottom

For years, I’ve harbored a desire to pen a TV series focusing on Jax Taylor’s life five years after “Vanderpump Rules” concluded. The intrigue lies in exploring the unseen aspects – the harsh reality as his fame waned and his Cameo rank plummeted week by week, leaving him at the bottom. In my mind, he would be a has-been, filled with anger, but essentially unchanged: still partying, still dishonest, prone to outbursts, self-centered, and potentially dangerous to those around him. Remarkably, what I envisioned seems to align quite closely with reality. What’s odd is that due to the #Scandoval incident, this previously hidden aspect of his life – the part meant to play out off-camera – has once again found its way into the limelight. Now that it’s being shown, it feels all too real, honest, and raw. Interestingly, it’s also surprisingly predictable, like we all sensed this ending was approaching the moment he tore off his sweater in a Vegas strip mall parking lot to fight Stassi’s new boyfriend.

As I delve into the latest episode, my mind is intrigued by not one, but two perplexing relationships that leave me scratching my head. Firstly, there’s Zack and his partner, Benji, whose situation seems murky at best. He’s either in Canada, facing deportation, or residing in Los Angeles with an ex-husband – it’s all quite unclear. The confusion deepens when I see a Mini-fridge branded with Monster Energy drinks on Zack’s kitchen counter. Frankly, I have numerous questions swirling around this enigma.

As a movie buff, I’ve got to admit, the plotline I’m hearing is quite puzzling. It appears that he’s going through a divorce and has met someone new via a dating app, which seems fine. But here’s where things get tricky – why is he facing deportation? I thought having a green card meant he wouldn’t lose his status due to a divorce. Could it be possible that they weren’t married for long or maybe the marriage wasn’t legitimate in the first place, leading the authorities to suspect a sham?

And here’s another twist – with all the immigration issues swirling around in this great nation (that I currently reside outside of, thanks to the U.K. Home Office), he’s planning on appearing on a reality show, discussing his uncertain legal status? That sounds like walking barefoot on a minefield, not just Zack’s untidy floors!

As a movie enthusiast, let me say this episode’s most intriguing moment undeniably belongs to Michelle and Jesse. Regardless of Jax’s situation, it’s a scene that keeps you hooked. They’re squabbling about their parenting schedule, and Michelle accuses Jesse of agreeing to things only to take them back – a behavior that sounds all too familiar with Jesse Lally. I can’t help but think that being married or divorced from this man would come with its own set of challenges. He seems determined to make life difficult for Michelle, in both big and small ways.

For instance, what could be more infuriating than flaunting wealth right in someone’s face? Case in point: he whips up a four-egg omelet, with an entire 18-egg carton on the counter – the egg ‘tall boy’. That’s around $874 worth of eggs. In this economy, an omelet that size? With tariffs? And then t

As a film enthusiast, I must admit, this character is truly the epitome of a challenge, yet watching him navigate through his life’s complexities is nothing short of mesmerizing. Take, for instance, the intricate dance of holiday negotiations. Michelle proposes a turn-taking arrangement for the upcoming festivities. Yet, Jesse, fearing solitude on both Thanksgiving and Christmas, becomes visibly emotional at the prospect. Little do we know, he’s been romantically involved with someone for a mere week, and their daughter accidentally walks in on a slumber party. So, one can only imagine what kind of chaos might ensue on any given week. But when it comes to Thanksgiving, well, let’s just say the turkey might not be the only thing getting ‘carved’ that day!

In this intriguing scene, there are two standout moments that resonate deeply. First, Jesse remarks in a confessional, “I didn’t cheat on her or lie to her. Yes, I might have been a less-than-ideal spouse. But I didn’t intentionally harm her.” However, one may wonder, what constitutes being a poor husband? It inflicts pain! His actions caused her pain at every turn, and the fact that he avoided some of the most severe transgressions does not negate the fact that his daily subpar behavior also brought about pain.

The surprising twist arrives when they talk about the girlfriend, who appears quite problematic. She’s been texting threats of lawsuits to Michelle and, at a social gathering, she mentioned she was going to send cease-and-desist letters (or as they call them in her area, “cyst and deceased”). She certainly doesn’t sound appealing. In fact, she seems like the type of attractive but unstable woman Jesse might quickly rekindle things with, continuing his questionable choices to haunt his ex-wife even post-separation. During their conversation, Michelle reveals that this girlfriend told one of her friends about sleeping with another man. Jesse inquires who the friend was, and Michelle responds, “Scheana.” Just thinking about Scheana Marie Shay getting entangled in this situation gave me a bit of a flutter in my heart. Jesse suggests calling Scheana to confirm if she made such a claim, and he does so. True to form, Scheana, always drawn to the allure of reality television, answers the call.

As a movie enthusiast, let me put it this way: Jesse inquired about his girlfriend’s alleged infidelity with other men, to which Scheana confirmed and even named names. “It’s the guy from Baywatch,” Scheana revealed. Now, everyone’s first thought is, “Is it The Hoff?” But considering the context, it’s unlikely. Yet, there’s a slim chance it might be him. If not, then the irony is just too rich – Jesse’s girlfriend is reportedly stepping out with someone from Baywatch, but not David Hasselhoff! It’s almost comical and tragic at the same time. Scheana Shay has delivered one of the best lines this season on Vanderpump Rules, and if this is all we get from her this season, she should still be invited to the reunion.

Jax and Brittany’s episode sees Jax going through multiple small interventions at home, which is still adorned with questionable wall art that reads “Cauchi Homestead.” First to visit is Kristen, and Jax himself summarizes their conversation eloquently: “I know I’ve hit rock bottom when Kristen Doute shows up at my house before noon to discuss my problems.” Following this is a visit from Danny and Jason, the so-called Bland Squad. They try to convince Jax not to lose everything he’s worked for, but he responds that he’s had numerous similar conversations and is expecting a call from a mental health facility, so they should just leave him alone. Afterward, they move to a park, drink stolen Monster energy drinks from Zack’s mini-fridge, and flex their muscles at each other for a while.

In the end, Brittany arrives to allow Jax to meet their son prior to him entering the facility. Upon picking up his son and embracing him, Brittany cautions Jax against kissing him on the face as Jax had a female companion the night before, and she wants to prevent any potential infections. However, this situation seems to involve some form of judgment rather than education about STIs. Furthermore, the show does not exactly help Jax’s image by displaying a picture of his previous companion Paige from Instagram, which is quite revealing and has been described as provocative, even by someone like myself who supports sex workers’ rights. I must admit, she appears to be quite explicit in her presentation.

The argument between Jax and Brittany doesn’t make any sense to me. I shouldn’t voice that opinion. Jax’s repeated accusations against Brittany of being unfaithful and sleeping with his friend are puzzling, especially since they were separated at the time. However, it’s a bit underhanded that she chose one of Jax’s friends. Granted, it’s not as bad as some things Jax has done on a regular Tuesday morning, but it’s still below the mark.

Jax is using a typical defense strategy of someone who feels cornered by saying, “No, you need help,” to deflect all blame back onto Brittany, as if he has been wronged so severely that he’s been pushed into this situation.

Jax’s words are always questionable, like when Brittany claims she isn’t dating anyone, and then Jax responds with something that sounds like a threat, “I have people watching.” It’s confusing; is this guy serious? What on earth is he talking about? Brittany, however, is direct in her conversation. If Jax doesn’t complete the full 30 days [in treatment], she plans to file for immediate custody, get a restraining order against him, and potentially lose his job. She also reveals on camera what many have suspected for over a decade: that he has a drug problem, especially cocaine, and hopes he will be truthful about it with the doctors. He tries to deflect blame back onto her, saying she’s done drugs too. She responds, “I have, but if I took a drug test right now, I would pass. Would you?” His response is to leave the conversation.

Brittany steps outside and joins her nanny Zuly, who’s renowned for her tireless work ethic in Los Angeles County, in the car. Meanwhile, Jason pulls up to transport Jax to a facility. Jax is on edge, contemplating all the things he’ll miss while away, particularly his son, and how he’ll continue to grow without him. However, as Jax ponders his son, I can’t help but reflect on Jax’s father. During the simulated intervention with Jason and Danny, Jax mentioned that his father was often aggressive, much like his grandfather. That seems to be a pattern among the men in his family. Yet, something else he said has been stuck in my mind. “My father is turning over in his grave right now,” Jax remarks, implying that his father would disapprove of him seeking help.

You got it? He seems likely to be like that, and here’s another thing – it’s for the best if he is. He comes off as quite arrogant. It appears he has seriously damaged Jax with his notion of what it means to be a man, emphasizing dominance and anger. This guy sounds like someone you shouldn’t pay attention to, someone you should disappoint. I hope his father is suffering in hell, knowing that Jax is making an effort to change things, striving to become a better person so that his son won’t follow in the footsteps of his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather – all embodiments of toxic masculinity who have caused harm to countless lives for their selfish egos. That’s what Jax claims he wants. As he rides toward the facility, his legs moving aimlessly in Jason’s SUV, gazing out the window, clenching his teeth and visualizing the worst-case scenario, I hope that Jax expressing a desire for a better life for his son is the first truthful thing we’ve ever heard from him.

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2025-04-23 05:54