The Valley Recap: Race to the Bottom

Jesse Lally consistently stands out as one of our exceptional reality TV personalities. He’s the kind of guy who hangs white flags when he moves into a Spanish-style villa for a drama-free weekend, only to create most of the drama himself. For instance, he schedules everyone at a remote-controlled race track, allowing him to don his Pirelli racing suit. To add an extra touch, he removes his shirt, exposing his minuscule Monchhichi nipples. The episode concludes with his warning that he might leave the house and drive back home because…well, perhaps his ex-wife is receiving more attention and empathy than him.

Everything about this situation is utterly astonishing, displaying both evidently poor conduct and intricate psychological layers. It’s hard not to stare, just as you can’t help but do when Zack joins the gratitude circle. However, you might find yourself involuntarily raising your eyebrows. To add to the discomfort, there’s something about Jesse standing in his room, threatening to depart while wearing tight Calvin Klein boxer briefs, that sends a shiver down my spine – south of the border. It’s not something I’m proud to acknowledge, but it seems I find myself drawn to Jesse Lally.

In this installment, his most notable moment arises from a disagreement with Janet and Brittany following their real-life game of Mario Kart. The conflict originates when they speak negatively about his former friend he was dating and encourage others to block her. Interestingly, this individual is so litigious and unstable that the show cannot even mention her name due to fear of a potential lawsuit. It’s puzzling that Jesse believes she deserves defense, especially since he is no longer involved with her. One might question his actions if he has moved on, Jesse.

Jesse feels frustrated with Michelle, along with Brittany and Janet who seem to be involved indirectly, as they’ve been hearing rumors that she claimed she wasn’t dating Jesse and was sleeping with someone else, possibly David Hasselhoff from Baywatch. However, it seems like Jesse himself may have been the one spreading this gossip about Scheana Marie Shay. If they were still together, we might think that Scheana’s statement was false, but given how Jesse is reacting now, it appears as though he has broken up with her and is taking out his anger on Michelle. Oh, Jesse, keep being the impassioned raccoon wearing a worn-out Cabbage Patch doll’s head!

In simpler terms, the remaining issues in this episode seem somewhat predictable or not very exciting. Jax repeatedly expresses his anger towards Brittany through text messages, accusing her of taking his son and job, stating he’ll never forgive her. He also records a video diary discussing his desire for help to be a good father and improve his life. Frankly, it feels repetitive. It seems like we’ve heard this before many times from Jax. He could achieve extraordinary things such as joining a monastery, winning the Nobel Peace Prize, donating all his wealth to pediatric cancer research, creating a functional dating app, and persuading Melissa McCarthy to make “Spy 2”, but I would still think it’s just a matter of time before he goes back to his old ways.

As a film critic, I must clarify a matter that seems to have been left unaddressed: the misunderstanding between Zack and Janet regarding his comments about her pregnancy last season. Contrary to what has been suggested, Zack did not express a wish for harm to come to Janet or her baby. Instead, he expressed indifference if his actions caused stress that might affect her pregnancy, as Michelle had warned him. This statement should be understood in the context of the situation and not twisted into something more malicious than it actually was.

Zack argues that he was extremely intoxicated and didn’t intend any of his actions. Of course, it’s unfathomable to wish harm upon an unborn child, which makes this entire situation absurd. It’s equally absurd how Janet has twisted this incident to make herself appear innocent and cast Zack as a monster. Her continued refusal to accept any accountability for her role in the argument with Zack is just as bizarre as Jesse’s nipples pointing in opposite directions. Frankly, I stand firm on this issue: Zack may need to apologize for his unseemly words, but he is not solely responsible for what transpired.

In a different phrasing, here’s how it goes: What primarily intrigues me is understanding how this situation impacts his relationship with Brittany. After he made that comment, Janet informed him that Brittany took her out for lunch to repeat what was said. Zack argues that if the remark was truly harmful, she could have acted as a protector by telling him off and encouraging him to apologize instead of confiding in Janet. This observation is only relevant to real-life situations, not fictional ones. However, since we’re dealing with reality, Janet will eventually discover the recording and learn what Zack said. Nevertheless, it seems like Brittany’s warning gave her a chance to present his comments in the most unfavorable way possible.

I find it challenging to make sarcastic comments about Kristen’s efforts to have a baby with Luke, which is depicted as having a smiley face drawn on a gallon of chocolate milk. It appears that people generally aren’t keen on fertility storylines, especially since Shamea Morton is currently going through something similar on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and these themes have been recurring for quite some time across Bravo shows. Are you invested in this topic? In the words of Wendy Williams, give a round of applause if you’re interested.

Typically, I’m not the type to be concerned about such things. When we watch shows like with Kristen, it’s often the case that the baby has already been born, so the struggles seem insignificant compared to the ultimate goal. However, it feels distinctly different with Kristen. Over the years on shows like Vanderpump Rules, we’ve witnessed her at her lowest points – cheating on a boyfriend, bullying new cast members, and getting fired from multiple jobs, even being celebrated for her departure by her coworkers. But seeing Kristen in a different light is refreshing.

Perhaps “nice” isn’t quite the appropriate term here. Instead, it’s distressing to witness her facing hardships. It’s disheartening to see her fertility window slip away like the bubbly spilled on victorious racers at an RC track. It’s troubling to observe her feeling betrayed by her body and frustrated that she can’t seem to succeed, not even in fulfilling her biological needs. However, it’s heartening to see Kristen reveal some empathy, to show us that she has thoughts beyond herself, dreams that extend beyond simply being correct or praised for intelligence. This is the first time we’ve seen Kristen strive for something more than a hastily-produced clothing line, and it’s proving to be much more challenging than she anticipated. This struggle has unexpectedly softened my feelings towards her, allowing her flaws and mistakes to come closer to forgiveness.

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2025-05-07 07:17