The Righteous Gemstones Recap: The Mouth of God, My Dude

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“What the hell are you doing here?” 

“Me? I’m merely shitting.” 

“You came all the way to Kelvin’s house to take a shit?”  

“Yeah, dude. I was driving near here and I started turtle-heading. What do you want me to do?”

In the TV series, The Righteous Gemstones, there’s a multi-layered humor. Last night’s conversation between Jesse and Judy was undeniably amusing at first glance. They had visited Kelvin’s house unaccompanied, and they were both trying hard to devise a plausible explanation for their presence. The fact that Judy settled on ‘shitting’ as an excuse is already humorous, but the term ‘turtle-heading’, which has been a signature of the show’s crude wit, makes it even funnier. However, their eagerness to find another reason apart from their mutual concern for Kelvin, revealing that they genuinely care about him and want to check on him, underscores the profound and intricate familial ties that bind the Gemstones. This episode, with its intermittent sweetness, often explores these complex family dynamics.

Since their father left the ministry, the Gemstone siblings have been stumbling, yet Kelvin’s achievements with Prism and Top Christ Following Man nomination have made him a conspicuous focus, especially as he flaunts them constantly. This has led to much satisfaction among his siblings, Jesse and Judy, when he faltered during the riskiest challenge – the roundtable discussion. This failure exposed Kelvin to public embarrassment similar to what Jesse endured with Prayer Pods, and it seemed his Prism project, a self-glorifying spectacle, would also be put on hold. When Kelvin retreats to his treehouse and withdraws the ladder, it’s clear he wanted to steer clear of the impending criticism from his siblings.

In the episode two weeks ago, there was a brief instance that hinted at a different reaction this time. When Jesse shuts down the family meeting at home, his facial expression appears more frustrated and disheartened rather than pleased about his sibling Kelvin’s humiliation. This might be due to Jesse’s ongoing feud with Vance Simkins, who is publicly belittling Kelvin on TV. However, it’s also because the Gemstones have a strong bond that no amount of conflict can break permanently. Although they may mock Kelvin for entertainment, they won’t tolerate any interference from Vance Simkins. The scene where Jesse and Judy fly up to the treehouse door in their telethon jet packs and yell “Ding-dong, bitch” is a poignant moment that the show has earned through their struggles.

In tonight’s episode of The Righteous Gemstones, the theme of mending familial bonds also applies to Gideon and Pontius, as they strive to heal their strained relationship. From the very first season, it’s been clear that Gideon ventured off the righteous path more than Pontius, whose rebelliousness is garden-variety compared to his brother’s elaborate blackmail plot. You see, Gideon doesn’t seem to have inherited any of his father’s preaching prowess, let alone his boisterous bravado. He appears to yearn to be a genuinely good person, which makes him an odd fit for the Gemstone family, and he’s been seeking guidance from his grandfather, maybe because he finds his dad too loud. This is frustrating for Jesse, as Gideon’s virtue only serves to highlight his flaws like a neon light on cheap motel bedsheets.

When Pontius gets caught participating in skateboard stunts with his friends, Gideon’s attempt to bring them all to church seems reminiscent of an ’80s sitcom about saving a community center. If he can demonstrate his coolness by performing tricks while dressed formally on Sundays, these boys might admit that he’s not as uptight as they thought and that an unassuming faith isn’t square but actually trendy. Even Pontius appears to have momentarily stopped scowling at this point. The future remains uncertain – the young Gemstones adopting a more humble connection with God could be unexpected – but the comedic nature of the Pontius storyline reduces its significance somewhat.

The reconciliation between Gideon and Pontius aligns well with the generally positive atmosphere of the episode, which is remarkably optimistic compared to the series’ usual tone this season. In fact, the episode could even be considered overly optimistic: After Kelvin’s fall from grace during “The Night of Testimonies,” a key event in the Top Christ Following Man competition, he delivers an impassioned speech expecting to have missed the award. The surprising vote in his favor feels too much like contrived upliftment, a trope that contradicts the gritty realism of a show like The Righteous Gemstones, despite its obvious affection for these characters. Even Kelvin’s courageous choice to be truthful about himself, regardless of the potential consequences, would have been impactful enough without the rest of the Evangelical community praising him for it.

On the other hand, the next Prism luncheon stands to be a rager.

Uncut Gemstones

In the initial scene, Cobb Milsap appears as a formidable adversary potentially capable of toppling the Gemstone empire this season. He seizes an advantage over Simkins, who currently oversees a ministry struggling financially and whose place of worship has been destroyed by firebombing, and has recently lost the title of Top Christ Follower to a competitor. With the Gold Bible and a colossal alligator at his disposal, Cobb is well-equipped for retaliation.

This week’s funniest content was mainly found in the B- and C-storylines. The feud between Judy and Dr. Watson, aided by BJ’s cunning monkey sidekick, is brilliantly conceived, particularly when Watson retaliates against Judy with pre-prepared fajita meat. Equally amusing is Baby Billy’s production challenges with the show Teenjus, as it could potentially bring trouble for the Gemstone ministry akin to how Heaven’s Gate impacted United Artists.

In simpler terms, “BJ finds that Dr. Watson’s intelligence is remarkable. Given his preference for expressing affection through physical touch, it’s crucial that he receives plenty of tender moments or ‘wats of wob.’

It’s evident that the issue with the movie Teenjus doesn’t stem from the script, such as in this example: “A man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” Instead, it seems to be a matter of casting. In an unexpected move, a heavily drugged-up Billy has decided to put on a wig and take on the role himself. This decision will cost $2 million for reshoots and an additional eight-ball of cocaine.

Billy, discussing a 29% budget reduction for “Teenjus”: “I can’t create an epic show on such a tight budget. Instead of filming at a cement factory in Goose Creek, we should be shooting this worldwide. We could be filming in Jordan right now inside some ancient Muslim tombs to make it more authentic. I intended for ‘Teenjus’ to be grand! This is not just any show!

BJ is cleaning his capuchin monkey’s bottom area, as suggested by YouTube, because they can sometimes experience issues with leaking stool.

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2025-04-21 06:54